some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
trust that outdoor
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
are more
advantaged
Correct word choice
advantageous
show examples
for the growth of
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
than playing
games
on the
computer
.
The
Change the article
A
show examples
large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of parents
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
children
playing video
games
.In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
cannot
agrue
Correct your spelling
agree
argue
with
this
situatuon beacuse
Correct your spelling
situation because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
this
situation.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the one hand, students and
children
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
the world think that playing
computer
games
will help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
relax after a lot of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at school and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
friends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,
children
can play sports
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
relax
Correct your spelling
after
afer
Correct your spelling
after
they study at school or they should do
excersie
Correct your spelling
exercise
and gymnastics.
For example
, my younger sister always
swimming
Wrong verb form
swims
show examples
and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
excersie
Correct your spelling
exercises
after she
finished
Wrong verb form
finishes
show examples
the
Change the word
her
show examples
homework. So,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think when the child
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to play
games
, just say
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
that
do
Verb problem
going
show examples
outside can help them
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health and have less
disease
. Nowadays, not only
children
want to play
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
on
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
love
this
active
Replace the word
activity
show examples
.The reason is it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them few better for a long
times
Correct the article-noun agreement
time
show examples
working and doing in society.In fact,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
a long
times
Correct the article-noun agreement
time
show examples
on
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
will make people have more
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
,likely sore eyes,
obese
Replace the word
obesity
show examples
and bone joint
disease
.They must
do
Correct your spelling
go
show examples
outside and relax like go to the beach, play football,
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
a tour to make their psychology feel better when they feel tired. In conclusion,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
do not need to play
computer
games
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
relax or
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
they just go outside or do more activity it will be
more happily
Correct word choice
happier
show examples
.They must not play
games
, because it just
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
tired,
disease
Wrong verb form
diseased
show examples
and take many
times
. Som
Submitted by aitam.dothi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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