some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These day
, Change the determiner
This day
These days
human
trust that outdoor Fix the agreement mistake
humans
activies
are more Correct your spelling
activities
advantaged
for the growth of Correct word choice
advantageous
child
than playing Fix the agreement mistake
children
games
on the computer
.
The
large Change the article
A
amount
of parents Change the quantifier
number
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
for
their Change preposition
with
children
playing video games
.In my opinion, i
cannot Change the capitalization
I
agrue
with Correct your spelling
agree
argue
this
situatuon beacuse
Correct your spelling
situation because
i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
situation.
In
the one hand, students and Change preposition
On
children
over
the world think that playing Rephrase
all over
computer
games
will help they
relax after a lot of Correct pronoun usage
them
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
study
at school and Wrong verb form
studying
make
friends on Wrong verb form
making
the
social media.Correct article usage
apply
In
the other hand, Change preposition
On
children
can play sports for
relax Change preposition
to
Correct your spelling
after
afer
they study at school
or they should do Correct your spelling
after
excersie
and gymnastics. Correct your spelling
exercise
For example
, my younger sister always swimming
and Wrong verb form
swims
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
excersie
after she Correct your spelling
exercises
finished
Wrong verb form
finishes
the
homework. So, Change the word
her
i
think when the child Change the capitalization
I
want
to play Change the verb form
wants
games
, just say them
that Change preposition
to them
do
outside can help them Verb problem
going
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
the
health and have less Change the word
their
disease
.
Nowadays, not only children
want to play game
on Fix the agreement mistake
games
computer
but Add an article
the computer
a computer
also
the
older and Correct article usage
apply
teenager
love Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
this
active
.The reason is it Replace the word
activity
make
them few better for a long Change the verb form
makes
times
working and doing in society.In fact, Correct the article-noun agreement
time
spend
a long Wrong verb form
spending
times
on Correct the article-noun agreement
time
computer
will make people have more Correct article usage
the computer
disease
,likely sore eyes, Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
obese
and bone joint Replace the word
obesity
disease
.They must do
outside and relax like go to the beach, play football, Correct your spelling
go
have
a tour to make their psychology feel better when they feel tired.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
and have
human
do not need to play Fix the agreement mistake
humans
computer
games
for
relax or Change preposition
to
comfortable
they just go outside or do more activity it will be Replace the word
comfort
more happily
.They must not play Correct word choice
happier
games
, because it just make
Change the verb form
makes
their
tired, Correct pronoun usage
them
disease
and take many Wrong verb form
diseased
times
.
SomSubmitted by aitam.dothi on
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Introduction Advice
You should begin your essay with a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion. This sets the stage for your argument.
Logical Structure Advice
Ensure your essay has a logical flow of ideas. This can be improved by clearly organizing paragraphs, each with a central idea that contributes to your overall argument.
Coherence & Cohesion Advice
Use linking words to connect your sentences and paragraphs better, as this will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Examples Advice
Provide specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument more convincing and responses more complete.
Language Advice
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by proofreading your essay. Also, consider using a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas.
Conclusion Advice
Ensure your conclusion summarises your main points and reiterates your opinion. A clear and strong conclusion is crucial for a higher score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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