some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children #development #computer #games

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These day

Change the determiner

This day

These days

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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trust that outdoor

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

are more

advantaged

Correct word choice

advantageous

show examples

for the growth of

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

than playing

games

on the

computer

The

Change the article

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large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of parents

disagree

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disagrees

show examples

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

children

playing video

games

.In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

cannot

agrue

Correct your spelling

agree

argue

with

this

situatuon beacuse

Correct your spelling

situation because

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

this

situation.

Change preposition

show examples

the one hand, students and

children

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the world think that playing

computer

games

will help

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

relax after a lot of

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

at school and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

friends on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media.

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand,

children

can play sports

for

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show examples

relax

Correct your spelling

after

afer

Correct your spelling

after

they study at school or they should do

excersie

Correct your spelling

exercise

and gymnastics.

For example

, my younger sister always

swimming

Wrong verb form

swims

show examples

and

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

excersie

Correct your spelling

exercises

after she

finished

Wrong verb form

finishes

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the

Change the word

her

show examples

homework. So,

Change the capitalization

show examples

think when the child

want

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wants

show examples

to play

games

, just say

them

Change preposition

to them

show examples

that

Verb problem

going

show examples

outside can help them

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

health and have less

disease

. Nowadays, not only

children

want to play

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

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computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

but

also

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older and

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

love

this

active

Replace the word

activity

show examples

.The reason is it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them few better for a long

times

Correct the article-noun agreement

time

show examples

working and doing in society.In fact,

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

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a long

times

Correct the article-noun agreement

time

show examples

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

will make people have more

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

,likely sore eyes,

obese

Replace the word

obesity

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and bone joint

disease

.They must

Correct your spelling

show examples

outside and relax like go to the beach, play football,

have

Correct word choice

and have

show examples

a tour to make their psychology feel better when they feel tired. In conclusion,

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

do not need to play

computer

games

for

Change preposition

show examples

relax or

comfortable

Replace the word

comfort

show examples

they just go outside or do more activity it will be

more happily

Correct word choice

happier

show examples

.They must not play

games

, because it just

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

tired,

disease

Wrong verb form

diseased

show examples

and take many

times

. Som

Submitted by aitam.dothi on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Introduction Advice

You should begin your essay with a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion. This sets the stage for your argument.

Logical Structure Advice

Ensure your essay has a logical flow of ideas. This can be improved by clearly organizing paragraphs, each with a central idea that contributes to your overall argument.

Coherence & Cohesion Advice

Use linking words to connect your sentences and paragraphs better, as this will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Examples Advice

Provide specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument more convincing and responses more complete.

Language Advice

Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by proofreading your essay. Also, consider using a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas.

Conclusion Advice

Ensure your conclusion summarises your main points and reiterates your opinion. A clear and strong conclusion is crucial for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

268 words

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some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?