IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter, mention why you are writing explain why you would like to work from home say how this can benefit you and the company

#employer #employees #work #home #hr #manager #permission #six #months #benefit #company
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to seek your permission to allow me to
work
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 home. I believe
this
 arrangement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 will foster my productivity. As you may know, I live at
far
Correct article usage
a far
show examples
 away distance from the office
due to
 some family issues. Commuting
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to and from
job
Correct pronoun usage
my job
show examples
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
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 a lot of
time
 for me.
Moreover
, it
also
 results in spiked stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. I
frimly
Correct your spelling
firmly
 believe getting a golden opportunity to
work
 from home will save me
mine
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
time
 and dissipate the stress. Because
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the extra
time
 and reduced stress, I can perform better and effectively.
Lastly
, if you allow me to
work
remortly
Correct your spelling
remotely
, it will benefit me unequivocally.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it will introduce
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 possible advantages for the company, first is increased productivity.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 benefit will
Add a missing verb
be employees
show examples
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
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 well-being
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
this
 new facet of
work
 will allow them to spend more
time
 with family. I hope you will consider my request and
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 it in
timely
Change the article
a timely
show examples
 manner. Looking forward
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
 reply. yours faithfully, John rick.
Submitted by sameer.rn9596 on

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Spelling
Make sure to proofread your letter for any spelling mistakes, such as 'form' instead of 'from', to further improve its clarity.
Coherence
To increase coherence, consider using transition words or phrases between sentences to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, remember to develop and conclude each idea within its own paragraph, maintaining a clear focus throughout the letter.
Task Response
When expressing benefits to the company, include specific examples or scenarios where possible, to strengthen your argument.
Task Response
You have effectively communicated the main purpose of your letter and presented clear reasons for wanting to work from home.
Structure
The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Writing Tone
Your letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is suitable for its purpose.
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