IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter, mention why you are writing explain why you would like to work from home say how this can benefit you and the company

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to seek your permission to allow me to
work
Use synonyms
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 home. I believe
this
Linking Words
 arrangement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
Use synonyms
 will foster my productivity. As you may know, I live at
far
Correct article usage
a far
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 away distance from the office
due to
Linking Words
 some family issues. Commuting
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 to and from
job
Correct pronoun usage
my job
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waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
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 a lot of
time
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 for me.
Moreover
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, it
also
Linking Words
 results in spiked stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. I
frimly
Correct your spelling
firmly
 believe getting a golden opportunity to
work
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 from home will save me
mine
Correct pronoun usage
my
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time
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 and dissipate the stress. Because
for
Change preposition
of
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 the extra
time
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 and reduced stress, I can perform better and effectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, if you allow me to
work
Use synonyms
remortly
Correct your spelling
remotely
, it will benefit me unequivocally.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 it will introduce
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 possible advantages for the company, first is increased productivity.
Second
Add an article
The second
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 benefit will
Add a missing verb
be employees
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employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
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 well-being
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
this
Linking Words
 new facet of
work
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 will allow them to spend more
time
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 with family. I hope you will consider my request and
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 it in
timely
Change the article
a timely
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 manner. Looking forward
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
 reply. yours faithfully, John rick.

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Spelling
Make sure to proofread your letter for any spelling mistakes, such as 'form' instead of 'from', to further improve its clarity.
Coherence
To increase coherence, consider using transition words or phrases between sentences to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, remember to develop and conclude each idea within its own paragraph, maintaining a clear focus throughout the letter.
Task Response
When expressing benefits to the company, include specific examples or scenarios where possible, to strengthen your argument.
Task Response
You have effectively communicated the main purpose of your letter and presented clear reasons for wanting to work from home.
Structure
The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Writing Tone
Your letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is suitable for its purpose.
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