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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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A quick glance at the charts
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 a number of graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 in the UK who finished college in 2008 and
then
Linking Words
 did part-time, volunteering,
further
Linking Words
 study and unemployment
instead
Linking Words
 of attempting full-time
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of postgraduate
Students
Use synonyms
 was nowhere near as large as graduate
students
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 for collegiate
students
Use synonyms
, part-time
work
Use synonyms
 was the most popular and accounted for the highest rate, it was less by approximately 1000 than the lowest amount of degree holder
students
Use synonyms
 who did voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. In terms of the first chart, most
students
Use synonyms
 chose
further
Linking Words
 study which considered almost all graduate
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the difference between the greatest
work
Use synonyms
 and the slightest
work
Use synonyms
 was very huge and it was highly likely to unemployment and could not show big unsimilarity. With regards to describing the second chart, short-term
work
Use synonyms
 was not quite as large as
further
Linking Words
 study even though both were the biggest indicators. 1625 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 included joblessness which was third the greatest sector, controversly, volunteering
work
Use synonyms
 could not involve a range of postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 because it was only 345
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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