IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work everyday. The result is increased traffic congestion and damadge to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distance to work?

#city #workers #country #travel #work #traffic #congestion #damadge #environment #measures #people #distance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Increasing
Add an article
An increasing
The increasing
show examples
 number of employers in
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 are travelling to work from their village's
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 results in
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of traffic and increases environmental pollution.
Creation
Correct article usage
The creation
show examples
 of low rental housing projects in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the road
tax
Use synonyms
 would be good initiatives to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Thus
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
, the writer
intend
Change the verb form
intends
show examples
 to
ellaborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 above ideas,in detail. To commence with, authorities have to
impliment
Correct your spelling
implement
 low rental housing
schems
Correct your spelling
schemes
scheme
 around these commercial
areas
Use synonyms
 to facilitate quick access to their work environment . The biggest burden for
city
Use synonyms
 employers is the higher cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their living places.
Thus
Linking Words
 most of them select to live in their native places and used to travel to cities daily .
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a recent
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
 done by
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of Oxford nearly 70% of London workers spend their monthly income on housing.
Thus
Linking Words
 ,
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
show examples
 of
house
Replace the word
housing
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 with government
involment
Correct your spelling
involvement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would be the best attraction to encourage the workers to live near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commercial
areas
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, followed by the above initiative,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the road
tax
Use synonyms
 would be the
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 best option to
controle travell related
Correct your spelling
control travel-related
 environmental and public issues. Upliftment of
excisting
Correct your spelling
existing
tax
Use synonyms
 percentages or generation of new taxes ,to drivers who use roads,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in peak hours in
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 would discourage them from travelling.
For instance
Linking Words
, with the introduction of road
tax
Use synonyms
 in London in 2002, it was reported a huge reduction in amount of vehicles; which entered
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
city
Use synonyms
 of
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
 from outside
areas
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
tax
Use synonyms
 can play a
crusual
Correct your spelling
crucial
 role in
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
 the above problem. In conclusion,
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 of new living places with low rentals in
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 and
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
 of
tax
Use synonyms
 schemes for vehicle usage in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would be good initiatives for the above problems.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 writer observes that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 governing bodies have to generate solutions in a proper and planned manner
not
Correct word choice
so as not
show examples
 to overburden the workforce of
Add an article
the
a
show examples
country.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar & Spelling
Try to proofread your essay to correct small grammatical and spelling mistakes, as this will make your writing clearer and more professional.
Argument Development
It's beneficial to develop your ideas more thoroughly with additional examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
Language Use
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language abilities.
Structure
You successfully introduced and concluded your essay, which is essential for structuring your argument.
Examples
Providing specific examples, like the London road tax, helps support your points and makes your argument more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: