Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Evidance

Correct your spelling

Evidence

suggests that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some parts of society undergo loans in order to purchase products which are expensive and useless.

Although

Linking Words

there are specific root causes behind

this

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, some steps can be adopted to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem. There are two main reasons why some

people

Use synonyms

tend to

overspending

Change the verb

overspend

show examples

on unnecessary items.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the customer culture puts pressure on

people

Use synonyms

to follow

this

Linking Words

trend. media

such

Linking Words

as television and internet shows purchasing would lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness and success so as a direct result, more and more

people

Use synonyms

encourage

Wrong verb form

are encouraged

show examples

overspending

Wrong verb form

overspend

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, emotional spending accounts for splurging on products.

indivituals

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Individuals

buy things to stay away from

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negetive

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negative

emotions

such

Linking Words

as stress and anxiety,

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is temporary

relife

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relief

show examples

and

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negetive

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negative

side-effects are long-lasting. There are,

however

Linking Words

, some solutions to

perevent

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prevent

the progress of overspending among the public.

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One

show examples

step would be changing the approach of media to

prevelent

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present

the correct form of life and

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

being successful is not related to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

purchasing. Take movies that stream as an example, these movies need to teach

people

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how being prosperous comes from their personal features not surrounding factors

such

Linking Words

as their physical possessions. Another viable alternative is to raise

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people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

awarness

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awareness

by educating them in schools and universities about how they can cure their

Use synonyms

negetive

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negative

emotions

instead

Linking Words

of aimless buying which is more effective and permanent.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the community purchase things

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

they do not need them

because of

Change preposition

for

show examples

many reasons

such

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as advertising and mental state. In spite of all contributing factors,

Correct article usage

a porper

show examples

porper

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proper

approach implemented by the media and educational centres may reduce the

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negetive

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negative

effects of

this

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phenomenan

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phenomenon

phenomena

considerably.

m.tavasoli18Sat Mar 30 2024

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Language Use

Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical mistakes. Correct use of language is important for clear communication.

Vocabulary

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. This will make your essay more compelling.

Examples

Consider including more specific examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your arguments. This adds credibility to your points.

Paragraph Structure

Ensure your paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

Cohesion

Try to use connective words and phrases to link your ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This will improve the readability of your essay.

Introduction/Conclusion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both the causes and solutions for the issue, fulfilling the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumer culture
impulsive buying
financial literacy
accumulating debt
high-interest rates
emotional spending
financial education
budgeting
materialism
personal well-being
mandatory financial counseling
tighter lending criteria

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

you have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: *Explain the situation *Describe why it bothers you *Suggest a solution

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people say that competitive sports have advantages for people from different groups and countries, while others believe that competitive sports only create problems between people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

you have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: Explain the situation Describe why it bothers you *Suggest a solution