Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #actions

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Evidance

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Evidence

suggests that

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apply

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some parts of society undergo loans in order to purchase products which are expensive and useless.

Although

Linking Words

there are specific root causes behind

this

Linking Words

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, some steps can be adopted to tackle

this

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problem. There are two main reasons why some

people

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tend to

overspending

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overspend

show examples

on unnecessary items.

Firstly

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, the customer culture puts pressure on

people

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to follow

this

Linking Words

trend. media

such

Linking Words

as television and internet shows purchasing would lead to

the

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apply

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happiness and success so as a direct result, more and more

people

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encourage

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are encouraged

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overspending

Wrong verb form

overspend

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Secondly

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, emotional spending accounts for splurging on products.

indivituals

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Individuals

buy things to stay away from

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negetive

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negative

emotions

such

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as stress and anxiety,

while

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this

Linking Words

is temporary

relife

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relief

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and

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negetive

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negative

side-effects are long-lasting. There are,

however

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, some solutions to

perevent

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prevent

the progress of overspending among the public.

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One

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step would be changing the approach of media to

prevelent

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present

the correct form of life and

shows

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show

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being successful is not related to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

purchasing. Take movies that stream as an example, these movies need to teach

people

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how being prosperous comes from their personal features not surrounding factors

such

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as their physical possessions. Another viable alternative is to raise

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people

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people's

show examples

awarness

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awareness

by educating them in schools and universities about how they can cure their

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negetive

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negative

emotions

instead

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of aimless buying which is more effective and permanent.

To conclude

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, the community purchase things

Linking Words

while

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when

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they do not need them

because of

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for

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many reasons

such

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as advertising and mental state. In spite of all contributing factors,

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a porper

show examples

porper

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proper

approach implemented by the media and educational centres may reduce the

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negetive

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negative

effects of

this

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phenomenan

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phenomenon

phenomena

considerably.

Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on Sat Mar 30 2024

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Language Use

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Vocabulary

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. This will make your essay more compelling.

Examples

Consider including more specific examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your arguments. This adds credibility to your points.

Paragraph Structure

Ensure your paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

Cohesion

Try to use connective words and phrases to link your ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This will improve the readability of your essay.

Introduction/Conclusion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both the causes and solutions for the issue, fulfilling the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumer culture
impulsive buying
financial literacy
accumulating debt
high-interest rates
emotional spending
financial education
budgeting
materialism
personal well-being
mandatory financial counseling
tighter lending criteria

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Your opinion

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Some people believe that it is good to hare as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some pople think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work intead of bering put behind bars. To what extend do you agree?