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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at universities in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society

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In the
last
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 decade, more and more students prefer to take
art
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subjects
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instead
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 of
science
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 at universities.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
science
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subjects
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 are considered boring and do not appeal to young people.
In addition
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, they believe that these
subjects
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 are difficult to score.
Therefore
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, the impacts on communities are that there will be a lack of
science
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 experts in the
country
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 and foreigners are needed to
work
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 in sectors involving
science
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 and technology. First and foremost, boredom is the main reason youngsters refuse to take up
science
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major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
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 at universities. It is said that
science
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subjects
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 are dull and difficult to comprehend.
For example
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,
survey
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a survey
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 shows that
Correct article usage
the
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majority of young Turkish prefer to major in the
art
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 fields.
This
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 is because they believe that they could do better in these fields than
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science
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in science
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.
Consequently
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, the number of students who register in
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art
Correct article usage
the art
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sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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increases
Wrong verb form
has increased
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 dramatically over the
last
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 few years,
while
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science
Correct article usage
the science
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 field saw a significant decrease. The implications of these on the communities are that there would be
insufficient
Change the article
an insufficient
the insufficient
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 number of
science
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 experts among the locals and the
country
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has
Wrong verb form
would have
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 to rely on foreign workers to
work
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 in
science
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 and
technology related
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technology-related
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 jobs.
In other words
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, with the influx
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art
Change preposition
of art
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 graduates in the job market, there will be a shortage of those who could
work
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 in
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science
Add an article
the science
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 sector.
Hence
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, the
country
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 is forced to hire foreigners. Take
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance, most locals in Saudi Arabia choose to do
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art related
Add a hyphen
art-related
show examples
subjects
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 at
tertiary
Correct article usage
the tertiary
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 level.
As a result
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, the government has to recruit foreign workers to
work
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 as doctors, nurses and engineers in the
country
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. In conclusion, the high level of difficulty in
science
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subjects
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 and being bored with them are the main contributing factors
why
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to why
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 students prefer to take up
art
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subjects
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 at universities.
Thus
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, these lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 decrease in the number of local experts in
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science
Add an article
the science
a science
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 field and
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
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 a
country
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 to take foreigners to
work
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 in
this
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 field.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to make the text more engaging.
Task Response
To improve, aim to integrate a wider variety of vocabulary related to science and art subjects.
Task Response
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, such as citing specific surveys or studies.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both parts of the question (reasons and effects) in a comprehensive manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lack of interest
  • Motivation
  • Perceived difficulty
  • Career guidance
  • Diverse opportunities
  • Social media influence
  • Trendy fields
  • Outdated curriculum
  • Modern relevance
  • Engagement
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • Public health
  • Innovation
  • Sustainability
  • Skilled workforce
  • Knowledge economy
  • Research and development
  • Scientific literacy
  • Global competitiveness
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