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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the population of India and China from the year 2000 to the present day with projections for growth to the year 2050.

The graph below shows the population of India and China from the year 2000 to the present day with projections for growth to the year 2050.
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The line graph illustrates the number of people changing from the year 2000 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 with previsions for growth to 2050. The unit on the Y-axis is shown in the total
population
Use synonyms
 in billions.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in the early
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 of the period, China had more
population
Use synonyms
 than India.
However
Linking Words
, as a projection in 2050, the growth of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in India will overtake China. Chinese people accounted for 1250
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and slightly rose up to well over 1400
billion
Use synonyms
 in the present day. After that, it will be predicted to moderately increase by 50 in 2030,
then
Linking Words
 will minimally fall back to
approximate
Change the word
approximately
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 1400
billions
Change to singular
billion
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 in the year 2050.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the number of people in India, which accounted for nearly 1000
billion
Use synonyms
 at the start of the period,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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surged to just over 1300
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the growth of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is expected to continuously surge and reach a peak at 1600
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2050.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "surged" was used 2 times.
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