Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
There is a current trend of
less
students choosing Change the quantifier
fewer
science related
majors in universities worldwide. The causes of Add a hyphen
science-related
this
trend might come from the nature of the subjects that is
more stressful, also
there is less pressure from the parent regarding to
study in arts and humanities. The effect would be students with excellent academic performance would be diversified into different Remove the preposition
apply
fields
of work, with their own interest
.
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
Firstly
, studying in
Change preposition
apply
science
can be stressful in different ways. For example
, the
knowledge in physics or mathematics can be proven, Correct article usage
apply
thus
there is the obligation to find the right answers on
every Change preposition
to
questions
. Change to a singular noun
question
Also
, the work will be useless once be proven wrong. In comparison, arts are depend
on the comprehension and personal thought.
Change the verb form
are depending
In addition
, parents in modern days have less expectations on
the major their children choose. In the past, most Change preposition
of
asian
parents preferred medical or engineering majors, and heavily influenced Change the capitalization
Asian
on
the decision. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, more people studied in
Change preposition
for
science
-related degrees. With the new parenting style, the kids make their own decisions, which normally
based on their interests or what they excel. Add a missing verb
are normally
Therefore
, there are only people with interest
in the Correct article usage
an interest
science
field left to study nowadays.
Consequently
, good quality human resource
would Fix the agreement mistake
resources
be equally disperse
into all Change the verb form
be equally dispersed
fields
, The development will be shown in every job fields
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
field
less
students Change the quantifier
fewer
study
in Wrong verb form
studying
science
majors can be a result from
the stress they might Change preposition
of
faced
and Change the verb form
face
also
more opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
on deciding
their own lives. Change preposition
to decide
Therefore
, high quality
people will be a great manpower in every Add a hyphen
high-quality
fields
that could support our societies in all aspects.Change to a singular noun
field
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example enhancement
Consider providing more specific examples to further illustrate your points. While the comparison between sciences and arts is insightful, concrete examples can bridge abstract concepts with real-world applications, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.
depth of argument
Try to expand on the effects on society beyond human resource distribution. Delve into potential impacts on innovation, societal progress, or economic development to offer a more comprehensive analysis of implications.
sentence variation
Work on varying sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. While your essay is well-structured, a mix of complex and compound sentences can enrich the text's flow and maintain readers' interest.
structure
Your essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
content coverage
You’ve done a great job identifying and discussing some key issues that influence students' choices in higher education, particularly in contrasting sciences with arts and the role of parental influence.
cohesion
The transition between paragraphs is smooth, portraying a cohesive argument throughout your essay. This cohesiveness aids in understanding and maintaining the flow of your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.