IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

#percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The pie chart compares the percentage of
water
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usage
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 among industrial, agricultural, and domestic activities used by six regions (North
America
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, South
America
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,
Europe
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,
Africa
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, Central
America
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,
Southeast
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and Southeast
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Asia
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). Looking at an
overall
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 perspective, the highest amount of
water
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 is used for agricultural activities,
while
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this
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 is smaller in
this
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 uses industrial and domestic operations in all regions. Higher
water
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usage
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 is used
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for more
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more
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for more
show examples
 than
four-fifth
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four-fifths
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 through agriculture
purposes
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 in Central
Asia
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,
Africa
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,
Correct word choice
and Southeast
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Southeast
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and Southeast
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Asia
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, 88%, 84%, and 81% respectively. In South
America
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water
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 is used , nearly
seven-in-ten
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seven in ten
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, through agricultural processes. As opposed
to
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apply
show examples
, North
America
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 and
Europe
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 use
water
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usage
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 for
this
Linking Words
 purpose, 39% and 32% respectively.
Water
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usage
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through
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for
show examples
 industrial
purposes
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 is higher in
Europe
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 and North
America
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, nearly more than half, and less than half respectively,
while
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this
Linking Words
usage
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 is smaller for
same
Correct article usage
the same
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purposes
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, in Central
Asia
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 and
Africa
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, 5% and 7% respectively. Southeast
Asia
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 and South
America
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water
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usage
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 through industrial operations are 12% and 10% respectively. In Central
Africa
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Asia
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 and Southeast,
water
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 is used for domestic
purposes
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in
Change preposition
at
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 the same rate, 7%.
Water
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usage
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 for domestic
purposes
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 is less than a fifth in South
America
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,
Europe
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 and North
America
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.
Africa
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 uses
water
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 9% for domestic issues.
Submitted by sabinanezar93 on

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content
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the data described in the pie charts, specifying what each chart represents.
structure
Use transitions and conjunctive adverbs to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' etc.
content
Consider including a summary or conclusion that recaps the main points or findings from the data to provide a clearer and more impactful ending.
accuracy
Be cautious with the accuracy of data representation. Verify percentages and the accuracy of statements to avoid inconsistencies.
structure
Practice structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on each category of water usage, and a conclusion for better coherence.
detail
Effective use of specific data and percentages to support your points.
content
Clear categorization of water usage into agricultural, industrial, and domestic purposes.
analysis
Identification of notable trends and differences among regions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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