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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

#percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The pie chart compares the percentage of
water
usage
 among industrial, agricultural, and domestic activities used by six regions (North
America
, South
America
,
Europe
,
Africa
, Central
America
,
Southeast
Correct word choice
and Southeast
show examples
Asia
). Looking at an
overall
 perspective, the highest amount of
water
 is used for agricultural activities,
while
this
 is smaller in
this
 uses industrial and domestic operations in all regions. Higher
water
usage
 is used
Change preposition
for more
show examples
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 than
four-fifth
Fix the agreement mistake
four-fifths
show examples
 through agriculture
purposes
 in Central
Asia
,
Africa
,
Correct word choice
and Southeast
show examples
Southeast
Correct word choice
and Southeast
show examples
Asia
, 88%, 84%, and 81% respectively. In South
America
water
 is used , nearly
seven-in-ten
Correct your spelling
seven in ten
show examples
, through agricultural processes. As opposed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, North
America
 and
Europe
 use
water
usage
 for
this
 purpose, 39% and 32% respectively.
Water
usage
through
Change preposition
for
show examples
 industrial
purposes
 is higher in
Europe
 and North
America
, nearly more than half, and less than half respectively,
while
this
usage
 is smaller for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
purposes
, in Central
Asia
 and
Africa
, 5% and 7% respectively. Southeast
Asia
 and South
America
water
usage
 through industrial operations are 12% and 10% respectively. In Central
Africa
Asia
 and Southeast,
water
 is used for domestic
purposes
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same rate, 7%.
Water
usage
 for domestic
purposes
 is less than a fifth in South
America
,
Europe
 and North
America
.
Africa
 uses
water
 9% for domestic issues.
Submitted by sabinanezar93 on

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content
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the data described in the pie charts, specifying what each chart represents.
structure
Use transitions and conjunctive adverbs to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' etc.
content
Consider including a summary or conclusion that recaps the main points or findings from the data to provide a clearer and more impactful ending.
accuracy
Be cautious with the accuracy of data representation. Verify percentages and the accuracy of statements to avoid inconsistencies.
structure
Practice structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on each category of water usage, and a conclusion for better coherence.
detail
Effective use of specific data and percentages to support your points.
content
Clear categorization of water usage into agricultural, industrial, and domestic purposes.
analysis
Identification of notable trends and differences among regions.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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