Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?
In many countries around the world,
drugs
such
as cocaine and heroin are prohibited while
alcohol
and cigarettes sale is allowed. Many consider tobacco
and alcoholic drinks drugs
as well, defending that laws should be banning these items
too, being applied to all drugs
. In my view, despite I believe alcohol
and tobacco
cause
damages
to Fix the agreement mistake
damage
its
consumers, Correct pronoun usage
their
it
should not be banned, but still limited, because its still part of many societies' Correct pronoun usage
they
culture
.
It is proven that hard Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
drugs
consumption can irreversibly damage an individual's life. The effects that heroin and cocaine can Change the noun form
drug
cause
in
the human body, Change preposition
on
for example
, not only affects
their organs but Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
also
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
a
high Change preposition
to a
addiction
, making users being
Unnecessary verb
apply
dependents
Fix the agreement mistake
dependent
of
these chemicals to function mentally and physically. A high level of Change preposition
on
addiction
often impacts the person's function, impeding them to work
, Change preposition
from working
socialize
and Wrong verb form
socialising
look
after themselves. Wrong verb form
looking
Additionally
, people that surround addicts such
as family and partners also
suffer phycological
and material consequences. The damage Correct your spelling
psychological
cause
by hard Wrong verb form
caused
drugs
usage is huge, Change the noun form
drug
thus
, governments established laws to ban those chemicals from society.
On the other hand
, the consumption of tobacco
and alcohol
can damage a person's life similarly
. While
a high consumption of cigarettes cause
different types of cancer and heart deceases, Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
alcohol
addiction
leads to other deceases, domestic violence and mental health conditions such
as depression. Both items
can also
leads
to high Change the verb form
lead
addiction
. However
, they are
more inserted in Wrong verb form
have been
human's
culture since the old eras, being associated with socialization and relaxation. The government can create laws to Change noun form
human
strict
cigarettes and alcoholic drinks Correct your spelling
restrict
while
promoting healthier habits, but banning those items
may cause
negative reactions. That is
why, in my opinion, prohibiting these items
is not effective.
In conclusion, governments prohibiting items
considered drugs
such
alcohol
and Change preposition
as alcohol
tobacco
at the same level as hard drugs
it
is not Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
effective solution. Change the article
an
This
is because its
still part of people's culture to consume these Correct your spelling
it's
items
so they part of the population can reprove it.Submitted by betinhaa00 on
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specific examples
You've presented a clear argument with a structured approach, distinguishing between hard drugs and substances like alcohol and tobacco. Enhancing your essay with more diverse examples and concrete evidence could further strengthen your position.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammar accuracy to make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow. For example, addressing minor errors such as 'deceases' instead of 'diseases,' and the correct use of 'it's' (it is) instead of 'its' (possessive determiner) can improve clarity.
transitional phrases
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, linking them effectively with the topic at hand. To further improve coherence, consider transitions that more seamlessly connect your main points, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas.
supported main points
Detailed analysis of the impact of hard drugs versus tobacco and alcohol, effectively supporting your main argument.
introduction conclusion
Good use of an introductory paragraph to set the stage for your argument, followed by a strong conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.