Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries around the world,
drugs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as cocaine and heroin are prohibited
while
Linking Words
alcohol
Use synonyms
and cigarettes sale is allowed. Many consider
tobacco
Use synonyms
and alcoholic drinks
drugs
Use synonyms
as well, defending that laws should be banning these
items
Use synonyms
too, being applied to all
drugs
Use synonyms
. In my view, despite I believe
alcohol
Use synonyms
and
tobacco
Use synonyms
cause
Use synonyms
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
consumers,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should not be banned, but still limited, because its still part of many societies'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
. It is proven that hard
Use synonyms
drugs
Change the noun form
drug
show examples
consumption can irreversibly damage an individual's life. The effects that heroin and cocaine can
cause
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the human body,
for example
Linking Words
, not only
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
their organs but
also
Linking Words
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
high
addiction
Use synonyms
, making users
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dependents
Fix the agreement mistake
dependent
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
these chemicals to function mentally and physically. A high level of
addiction
Use synonyms
often impacts the person's function, impeding them
to work
Change preposition
from working
show examples
,
socialize
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
after themselves.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people that surround addicts
such
Linking Words
as family and partners
also
Linking Words
suffer
phycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
show examples
and material consequences. The damage
Use synonyms
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
by hard
Use synonyms
drugs
Change the noun form
drug
show examples
usage is huge,
thus
Linking Words
, governments established laws to ban those chemicals from society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the consumption of
tobacco
Use synonyms
and
alcohol
Use synonyms
can damage a person's life
similarly
Linking Words
.
While
Linking Words
a high consumption of cigarettes
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
different types of cancer and heart deceases,
alcohol
Use synonyms
addiction
Use synonyms
leads to other deceases, domestic violence and mental health conditions
such
Linking Words
as depression. Both
items
Use synonyms
can
also
Linking Words
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to high
addiction
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
more inserted in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
culture since the old eras, being associated with socialization and relaxation. The government can create laws to
strict
Correct your spelling
restrict
show examples
cigarettes and alcoholic drinks
while
Linking Words
promoting healthier habits, but banning those
items
Use synonyms
may
cause
Use synonyms
negative reactions.
That is
Linking Words
why, in my opinion, prohibiting these
items
Use synonyms
is not effective. In conclusion, governments prohibiting
items
Use synonyms
considered
drugs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
alcohol
Change preposition
as alcohol
show examples
and
tobacco
Use synonyms
at the same level as hard
drugs
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
effective solution.
This
Linking Words
is because
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
still part of people's culture to consume these
items
Use synonyms
so they part of the population can reprove it.
Submitted by betinhaa00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

specific examples
You've presented a clear argument with a structured approach, distinguishing between hard drugs and substances like alcohol and tobacco. Enhancing your essay with more diverse examples and concrete evidence could further strengthen your position.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammar accuracy to make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow. For example, addressing minor errors such as 'deceases' instead of 'diseases,' and the correct use of 'it's' (it is) instead of 'its' (possessive determiner) can improve clarity.
transitional phrases
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, linking them effectively with the topic at hand. To further improve coherence, consider transitions that more seamlessly connect your main points, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas.
supported main points
Detailed analysis of the impact of hard drugs versus tobacco and alcohol, effectively supporting your main argument.
introduction conclusion
Good use of an introductory paragraph to set the stage for your argument, followed by a strong conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Chronic diseases
  • Substance abuse
  • Psychological dependency
  • Social stigma
  • Preventive measures
  • Legislative framework
  • Healthcare expenditure
  • Judicial system
  • Prohibition era
  • Civil liberties
  • Tax revenues
  • Harm reduction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Public health policy
  • Addiction treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: