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Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California, and the rest of the world.

#minutes #summarise #information #features #comparisons #water #usage #san #diego #california #rest #world
The Graph below
contrast
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contrasts
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 how much
water
 is used in
California
, San Diego and worldwide. There are
three
 pie charts which are divided by agriculture, industry and residential use of
water
. In the
three
graphs
Add a comma
graphs,
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 we can see a pattern for how much
water
 is used in the industry which comes close to almost 1/3 in every case. It is
also
 evident that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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residential use is exponentially bigger in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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San Diego County and
California
 than worldwide by almost
three fourths
Add a hyphen
three-fourths
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 in san
diego
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Diego
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 and
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 in
California
. The reader can acknowledge that 70% of
water
 being used in the world is used for
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 purposes which is a big jump compared with the other two charts. As someone who is not American by looking
athis
Correct your spelling
at this
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 you can see where the priorities go in each case. In the
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 they prefer to use the
water
 for their own purpose and is mainly used in residency,
while
 worldwide the
water
 is being used in different
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
proyects
Correct your spelling
projects
 to benefit the majority of the population.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 the importance of having
product
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products
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 and money moving all the time is equally important for the US
than
Correct word choice
as
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 it is worldwide. Some impressive information is that in
California
 the
water
 is
destributed
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distributed
 almost equally in the
three
diferent
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different
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of informations
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
.
Likewise
 that worldwide the usage of
water
 in residency is 8%,
this
 makes you wonder how may
this
 affect the quality of life
beteueen
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between
 the
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 and the world.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, california, three with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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