IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently spent the night at an expensive hotel. There was a problem with your room, but the hotel staff was unable to do anything about it write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter. introduce yourself describe the problem say what you would like the manager to do.

#night #hotel #room #staff #manager
Dear Mr John, The reason why I am addressing you is that, I
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Change the article
an
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 issue
this
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 problem very harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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 me. My name is Tom. My surname is Smith. I am
twenty one
Add a hyphen
twenty-one
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 years old. I lived
your
Change preposition
in your
show examples
hotel
 at 27
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
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 on the floor and
also
 I went to work all day. I only lived tonight your
househotel
Correct your spelling
household
house hotel
. I think
this
hotel
 there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 issue.
Furthermore
, that room
extremely
Add a missing verb
is extremely
show examples
 cold for me because I think
have
Wrong verb form
there is
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not
Correct your spelling
no
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 furnace
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
room
Add an article
the room
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.
Besides
 that, your staff was unable to do anything about it and
also
 I was extremely
apset
Correct your spelling
upset
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
hotel
 staff and your
hotel
. So, I decided from
guest
Correct article usage
a guest
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hotel
 leave. From one perspective,
this
hotel
 should
repair
Wrong verb form
be repaired
show examples
 for many
client
Change to a plural noun
clients
show examples
.
Moreover
, I
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 be furnace your
hotel
 and
also
this
hotel
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 stunning and beautiful to me. I think
this
hotel
 there are several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 with
hotel
Correct article usage
the hotel
show examples
 staff. I am looking forward to
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 answer in the near future. Yours sincerely, Tom.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Introduction
Try to introduce yourself and the reason for writing more clearly. It'll help the reader understand your purpose right away.
Detail Clarity
Clearly describe the problem in a structured manner, mentioning specific details like dates and room numbers only if they add to the clarity of your complaint.
Request Clarity
Use more precise language to describe your requests. Instead of vague terms like 'repair for many client' or 'want be furnace,' specify exactly what action you expect from the hotel manager.
Grammar and Syntax
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve the flow and understanding of your letter. Practicing with complex sentences can help.
Organization
Consider organizing your letter into clear paragraphs: introduction, description of the problem, your request, and a conclusion. This will help in making your letter more coherent and easier to follow.
Tone
You effectively used a polite tone, which is appropriate for writing a formal letter.
Content Effort
You made an effort to explain the problem and request a solution, which is a good approach in complaint letters.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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