Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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These days the amount of

violence

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media

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grown

Wrong verb form

growing

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While

Linking Words

some

people

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argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that

Violence

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on both television and in computer

games

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has

uneffectiveness

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ineffectiveness

factors on the community, others believe that there are

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apply

show examples

drawbacks of

this

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on the

characterstics

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characteristics

and behaviours of

people

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the negative effects of

media

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people

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. In my point of view, I

am strongly agree

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strongly agree

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with the first part of the

arrgument

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argument

. Taking a near glance at the impact of watching

violence

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in different types of

media

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such

Linking Words

as television and computer

games

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, It has several negative effects on all categories of

society

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Firstly

Linking Words

people

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often copy

action

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actions

show examples

that they see on TV.

In other words

Linking Words

alot

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a lot

people

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esspeciaaly

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especially

youth and children

immitiate

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immediate

imitate

TV shows without thinking

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about

show examples

its bad effect on their behaviour or

society

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For instance

Linking Words

, Children who watch Tom and Jerry chasing each other

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and

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using fire can do

this

Linking Words

with their friends.

Moreover

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, it will

leads

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lead

show examples

to more

violence

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and problems in

society

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owing to just

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

the same actions

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show examples

others. Another negative

impcat

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impact

is that violent video

games

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teach

people

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that aggressiveness is normal in everyday life.

In other words

Linking Words

, Watching

violence

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in the

games

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lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to more

familiar

Replace the word

familiarity

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with

this

Linking Words

type of actions and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

people

Use synonyms

not

affect

Wrong verb form

affected

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with

Change preposition

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

actions as it is normal. As

aresult

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a result

people

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used

Add a missing verb

are used

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

and wish to see it at any place without taking any action.

For example

Linking Words

, young

people

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spend

Correct pronoun usage

who spend

show examples

long hours

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apply

show examples

playing war video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

could practice these deals with their friends and

classmate

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classmates

show examples

without thinking.As

Correct article usage

a aconsquence

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aconsquence

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consequence

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show examples

all of

this

Linking Words

, a tided connection

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

between

violence

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and

media

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would affect the whole

society

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To sum up

Linking Words

violence

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is a result of

Correct article usage

the immitation

show examples

immitation

Correct your spelling

imitation

of watching programs or playing video

games

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In addition

Linking Words

, there is a significant relationship between

media

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and growing

viollence

Correct your spelling

violence

society

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Submitted by monahhj123 on Tue Apr 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to clarify and expand your ideas further to strengthen your argument. Providing more detailed examples and explaining their significance could help.

coherence cohesion

Carefully check for spelling and grammatical errors to improve the overall readability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Begin with a topic sentence, follow with supporting details, and conclude with a final statement that ties back to your main argument.

task achievement

You have good ideas, but sometimes they feel a bit rushed. Taking the time to develop each point fully will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

You did a good job introducing the topic and providing a clear opinion in your introduction.

task achievement

You managed to provide examples to support your points, which is great for illustrating your arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.