you should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #topic #government’s #role #defence #capability #infrastructure #roads #water #supplies #services #education #health #security #groups #individuals #community
Nowadays one of the important
government’s
Change noun form
government
role
is to protect their inhabitants and to defend their rights. Fix the agreement mistake
roles
In addition
, their job is to defence
their roads, water supplies, transportation, energy and other urban infrastructure. Replace the word
defend
However
, education, health, social security and other services are the face of country
.
My opinion is, if Add an article
the country
a country
people
are well-trained and make an effort to progress’s
Change noun form
progress
this
is what attracts other governments. I believe,
Remove the comma
apply
government
should take education seriously. In the Add an article
the government
future
these Add a comma
future,
people
will represent their country
. They should be educated and be ready to promote their country
. Also
, they will work for their country
. What about health? If Correct article usage
the county’s
county’s
Correct your spelling
country’s
people
will be
sick, Wrong verb form
are
this
definitely won’t bring any positive outcomes later. Government
need to take care of their citizens. For instance
, hospitals should be free. They need work
24 hours Fix the infinitive
to work
in
Change preposition
apply
the
week. Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, government
need to be economically healthy too. Economically healthy means economic stability. What does it mean? Economic stability means that Add an article
the government
people
have the resources essential to a healthy life. Factors affecting economic stability include affordable housing, employment that provides a living wage, things that support employment, like worker protections, paid sick leave, and
child care, and access to reliable transportation. Correct word choice
apply
Last
, but not least is social welfare. Including America, social security provides financial protection for our nation's people
, supporting Americans throughout all of life's journeys. That’s what every country
ought to do. This
is so important for inhabitants.
To sum up
, as I said before, education, health and social security are made for citizens. Government
ought to be more attentive Correct article usage
The government
with
its Change preposition
to
people
and they
should Correct pronoun usage
it
to
take it for their own responsibility. Their Change the verb form
apply
people
will support them in the future and work to make their country
powerful.Submitted by muradismailbayli on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Increase the usage of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly across sentences and paragraphs. For example, transitions like 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', 'However', can greatly improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your stance, followed by body paragraphs that explore each point in detail, and conclude with a summary of your arguments and your opinion.
Task Achievement
Incorporating specific examples or data to support your points can strengthen your arguments. Consider including real-life examples, statistical evidence, or citing credible sources to add depth to your essay.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear opinion, which is excellent for the task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your essay explores a range of relevant areas (education, health, economic stability, social welfare), showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion