A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays one of the important

Use synonyms

government’s

Change noun form

government

show examples

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

is to protect their inhabitants and to defend their rights.

In addition

Linking Words

, their job is to

defence

Replace the word

defend

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their roads, water supplies, transportation, energy and other urban infrastructure.

However

Linking Words

, education, health, social security and other services are the face of

Use synonyms

country

Add an article

the country

a country

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. My opinion is, if

people

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are well-trained and make an effort to

progress’s

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progress

show examples

this

Linking Words

is what attracts other governments. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

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should take education seriously. In the

future

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future,

show examples

these

people

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will represent their

country

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. They should be educated and be ready to promote their

country

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Also

Linking Words

, they will work for their

country

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. What about health? If

Correct article usage

the county’s

show examples

county’s

Correct your spelling

country’s

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people

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will be

Wrong verb form

are

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sick,

this

Linking Words

definitely won’t bring any positive outcomes later.

Government

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need to take care of their citizens.

For instance

Linking Words

, hospitals should be free. They need

work

Fix the infinitive

to work

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24 hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

week.

Moreover

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

need to be economically healthy too. Economically healthy means economic stability. What does it mean? Economic stability means that

people

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have the resources essential to a healthy life. Factors affecting economic stability include affordable housing, employment that provides a living wage, things that support employment, like worker protections, paid sick leave,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

child care, and access to reliable transportation.

Last

Linking Words

, but not least is social welfare. Including America, social security provides financial protection for our nation's

people

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, supporting Americans throughout all of life's journeys. That’s what every

country

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ought to do.

This

Linking Words

is so important for inhabitants.

To sum up

Linking Words

, as I said before, education, health and social security are made for citizens.

Use synonyms

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

ought to be more attentive

with

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show examples

its

people

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and

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

take it for their own responsibility. Their

people

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will support them in the future and work to make their

country

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powerful.

muradismailbayliTue Apr 02 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

Increase the usage of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly across sentences and paragraphs. For example, transitions like 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', 'However', can greatly improve the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay would benefit from a clearer distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your stance, followed by body paragraphs that explore each point in detail, and conclude with a summary of your arguments and your opinion.

Task Achievement

Incorporating specific examples or data to support your points can strengthen your arguments. Consider including real-life examples, statistical evidence, or citing credible sources to add depth to your essay.

Task Achievement

You provided a clear opinion, which is excellent for the task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Task Achievement

Your essay explores a range of relevant areas (education, health, economic stability, social welfare), showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

288 words

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With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.