IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Robots and artifical intelligence are veing developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happen? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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In the modern era, man-made and automatic devices are thought to be major in some jobs
due to
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 high tolerance
in
Change preposition
for
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 dangerous situations at work.
This
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 phenomenon leads to positives in
decease
Correct your spelling
decreasing
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burden
Correct article usage
the burden
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 on people which can improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Robots
Use synonyms
 and artificial intelligence now are familiar
with
Change preposition
to
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 society as they are strong and robust.
Those machine
Change the determiner
That machine
Those machines
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 was made from metal
that is
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 tough and strong ingredients can cope well with
high
Add an article
the high
a high
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 and tough working
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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.
Moreover
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, those machines can automatically generate actions
base
Wrong verb form
based
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 on a simple request, without any help.
Consequently
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,
robots
Use synonyms
 are potential tools for some jobs requiring strength and
tolerate
Replace the word
tolerance
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 to avoid job accidents in humans.
For instance
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,
robots
Use synonyms
are now use
Change the verb form
are now used
show examples
 in construction sites where they
use
Wrong verb form
are used
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 to
carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
show examples
 heavy packages or
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
altitude
Fix the agreement mistake
altitudes
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. Those
robots
Use synonyms
 have improved the public's status by preventing employees from suffering stress in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. These devices not only
can
Verb problem
apply
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do heavy jobs but
also
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 check the
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
 in documents in offices. Using its
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
 program, artificial
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
 applications are applied to office workers with new ideas or develop
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
plans for their products. In
this
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 way,
Add an article
the work
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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 is not a stressful place, forcing employees to generate new ideas and
also
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 the products are completely perfect when
publicize
Change the verb form
publicizing
show examples
 them.
Moreover
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, reducing stress
also
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
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 have
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 experience in their mental health and their social life.
Therefore
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,
robots
Use synonyms
 are the best tool for people, especially in
this
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 era when everyone can easily suffer from depression. In conclusion, automatic automobiles and synthesis intelligence are replacing humans
due to
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 their superior ability that bring benefits to a country.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 alternative may result in
the low
Correct word choice
lower
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 depression in people.

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sentence variety
To enhance your essay further, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures to add complexity and depth to your arguments. This will not only make your writing more engaging but also demonstrate your linguistic proficiency.
supporting evidence
Integrating more real-world examples or case studies into your arguments could strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and grounded in reality.
accuracy
Be mindful of small errors in terminology and spelling, e.g., 'artifical' instead of 'artificial', 'decease' instead of 'decrease'. While these are minor, paying attention to such details can polish your overall presentation.
structure
You've done an excellent job in organizing the essay into clear, logical paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the topic. This makes your essay coherent and easy to follow.
comprehensiveness
You've clearly articulated both sides of the argument regarding the impact of robots and artificial intelligence in the workplace. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic's complexity.
conclusion
The use of a conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay’s main points and restates your position is a strong feature of your writing. It provides a clear closure and reinforces your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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