The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK ( expressed in percentage terms).

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK ( expressed in percentage terms).
The graph provides information about internal access trends to advanced technology There are two basic general trends with and without fluctuation. As regards to
first,
Mobile
Correct article usage
the Mobile
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phone’s trend
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rose gradually from almost 20% to just 25%,
then
started
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
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suddenly.
By contrast
, the access for the other three
technologys
Correct your spelling
technologies
technology
went up almost in the same pattern. There was
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
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upward in
CD
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the CD
a CD
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player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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, starting from 60%. The trend for the Home computer was similar to the CD player. Admission to home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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increased gradually and steadily every year.
Likewise
, the Internet access’s tendency is upward, with
sudden
Add an article
a sudden
the sudden
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climb from almost 10%. It ıs noticeable,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
admission for Internet access began later than for the other three innovations.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • digital divide
  • accessibility
  • ubiquitous computing
  • smart home devices
  • telecommunication
  • multi-purpose gadgets
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • obsolete
  • trend analysis
  • consumer electronics
  • statistical data
  • percentile growth
  • demographics
  • chart interpretation
  • gadgets
  • integration
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