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Band 6.5

Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#employment #staff #-week #holiday #year #employees #jobs
While
 some people opine that having at least a
month
Change noun form
month's
show examples
vacation
 a year for employees will negatively impact their work quality, I would argue that
this
 is crucial for workers and gives them a chance to take a rest and become full of energy and enthusiasm in
further
 activities. In
this
 essay, I plan to highlight my point of view and substantiate it with examples. On the one side, a long
vacation
 is not convenient for employers
due to
 the financial burden on the company budget. Obviously,
this
 becomes more significant if the company has a huge number of employees.
Additionally
, a long interruption in the employment process is not the best thing that could happen as staff members feel a kind of strain the first time right after
vacation
 until they
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
 completely
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
involved in the labour routine.
For example
, it happened to me when after the New Year holiday I had a sense of confusion and even forgot tasks that were my everyday responsibilities. On the other side, if a person works continuously without a break, he could feel depressed and tired. I am convinced that for a complete recharging a month's break is the best duration. To elaborate, if a week is given as a leave, an individual will be forced to do everything in a hurry, and I am not sure it is a true way to relax.
Moreover
, if a person feels sick, he will spend a whole
vacation
 at home getting better.
For instance
,
last
 year I experienced
such
 a situation when I had a fever, and
this
 was a reason for me to realize that a week is too short for taking a rest. In conclusion, taking into consideration all the abovementioned, I would like
to sum up
 that
although
 there is an opinion that a month is a quite long period for leaving a workplace, I still believe that a shorter time period does not always match to employee's expectations.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your standpoint for consistency throughout your essay.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balance between both sides of the argument before presenting your conclusion to give your essay a more rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Review the structure of your paragraphs to ensure each one has a clear main idea followed by examples and explanations.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic with a clear position that is supported throughout.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the position taken in the introduction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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