Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving information and technology. Some believe that it is the responsibility of businesses to pay for this training for their staff while others feel it is up to the individual. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Having the responsibility of paying money for training by the business or the employees has been discussed by many. There are a group of jobs which need continuing instruction and research to stay in competition in a globe containing moderately changing data and technology.
Although
some people believe that cash should be up to the person who does the office others, myself included , take the view that the business has the duty to spend money on it. The trade needs to take the responsibility to give salary to training so they can gain the trust of their
staff
. The members of the
staff
need to know the fact that the people who have major roles in the work care about them and what they do. The employment needs to make the workers believe that they want them to improve and get better. If not paying for the sustained teaching and training which can be impactful for the potential trainees` improvement , they may start losing their hope for the work and eventually quit. What the wage does is
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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strengthen the relationship between all individuals working
for
Change preposition
in
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the field as they can count on each other more. Some people argue that It is the employee`s duty to deal with the financial part of their continuing instruction for the independence of the institute .It has been believed that getting better in a position depends on the will and the actions of the person who does the career. If necessary , training should be done by the potential trainees even with financial barriers.
Thus
It is said to have affected their level of self-reliance.
However
, I think cash by the individual cannot be a bridge for
an
Correct article usage
apply
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improvement as it weakens the communication and the cooperation of the
staff
. It is common knowledge that progression in business can be seen by teamwork and the level of trust.
Consequently
, members of
staff
can't bring anything to the table for progression. In conclusion , I am not convinced that
staff
should be responsible for giving
award
Fix the agreement mistake
awards
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to train as it has a negative effect on cooperation which is a key role for every profession. I take the view that the
employment
Replace the word
employee
show examples
should take responsibility for the repayment as they can receive the trust of
staff
.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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task achievement
Ensure to directly address the prompt by discussing both views thoroughly and providing specific examples to support each viewpoint.
task achievement
Work on providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion to enhance the comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Using a variety of linking phrases can improve the flow of your essay and help connect ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more concrete examples and data to support your claims, which will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear overall structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay successfully conveys your own opinion, providing a clearly stated perspective that is maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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