The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk

The bar graph gives information about the expenditure on three groups among various

age

categories of inhabitants in the UK in 2004.

Overall

, it can be clearly seen that the food and drinks portion had a stable difference between

age

groups, and the least difference between each domain was in the 31-45 group. Looking into detail, the young

people

who

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

age

under 30

years

old spend their money on meals and beverages at nearly 5%. It was a gradual increase in every

age

group and reached around 23% for

people

years

old and above.

Similarly

, citizens

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

spending on their money in terms of entertainment rose significantly and reached a peak in the

ages

Change the noun form

age

show examples

group 71-75

years

old at 23% before dropping to just below 15% in the

people

years

old and above.

In contrast

, the total expense of restaurants and hotels has the highest value in

people

under 30

years

old, comprising

Change preposition

apply

show examples

14%.

Additionally

, it went down slightly in citizens

Change preposition

aged

show examples

age

31-45

years

old and stood the same with the

people

around 46-60

years

old at just above 10%.

Moreover

, it declined in 61-75 aged

people

at just below 5% before increasing in

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

years

old and above around 6%.

Submitted by Name_1234 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the current obsession with technology and the internet means that we are creating a generation of people that have poor social skills.

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents. However, some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country.