The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment.
In recent times, the production of consumer goods has been rapidly increasing, leading to
the
harmful effects on the environment.Correct article usage
apply
This
essay agrees that art and culture
is
a unique identity of the nation and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
government
must allocate some funds to preserve them.
To commence with, art and Correct article usage
the government
culture
represent the country in the whole world, and the global reputation of any nation is determined by its rich culture
. For example
, India is well known for its culture
of unity in diversity, hence
, most countries
believe that India is open in terms of accepting new ideas. Furthermore
, global
image of any country is Add an article
the global
very
significant factor in terms of maintaining relations with other Add an article
a very
countries
. For instance
, it is very easy for middle eastern
Correct your spelling
Middle Eastern
countries
to establish good relation
with each other as they have similar cultures.
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
On the other hand
, some individuals opine that spending people’s money on organizing art and cultural event
has no direct benefits, and Fix the agreement mistake
events
government
should spend more on the development of education, Correct article usage
the government
health
sector and other pressing problems. Correct article usage
the health
Although
investing government
funds on
Change preposition
in
education
and health sector is necessary, spending to preserve the rich Correct article usage
the education
culture
of the nation should not be avoided because spending on them not only unites the citizens, but it also
affects the global reputation of the country.
To sum up
, arts and culture
are one of the
significant factors in terms of maintaining geopolitical image and relations with other Correct article usage
apply
countries
, and they should be given importance when deciding where government
should allocate its resources.Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on
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Introduction Accuracy
Your introduction started on a different topic unrelated to your main essay argument. It's essential to make sure the introduction accurately previews the topic and stance of the essay.
Topic Relevance
Your essay content does not directly address the set topic regarding the impact of consumer goods production on the natural environment. Ensure your essay focuses on the given topic to meet the task achievement criteria effectively.
Relevance and Examples
Try to include specific examples relevant to the essay's argument. While you mentioned countries and their cultures, linking them directly to the topic of arts, culture, and environmental impacts would strengthen your argument.
Paragraph Coherence
Keep paragraphs well-organized and focused on one main idea to improve coherence. Each paragraph should clearly support your argument relating to the essay topic.
Conclusion
You've provided a clear conclusion summarizing your argument, which helps to round off your essay effectively.
Structure
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is good practice and aids readability.
Balanced Viewpoints
Your essay introduces discussion of both sides of the argument, demonstrating your ability to consider different viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.