The charts below show the average consumption of three nutrients by adults in the UK. All of these nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average consumption of three nutrients by adults in the UK. All of these nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The pie chart below
showcase
Change the verb form
showcases
show examples
the three nutrients (
sodium
, saturated fat and added
sugar
) consumed daily by an average
person
in the UK.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
, high
sugar
is
immensly
Correct your spelling
immensely
favourable with a portion of nearly half of a
person
's appetite through the day, which
contained
Add a missing verb
is contained
show examples
heavily in snacks.
Additionally
, increased
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
sodium
tend to
imply
Wrong verb form
be implied
show examples
in dinner meals. All of these nutrients are found the
leats
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
in breakfast, with mostly filled with just
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
than 20% of all ingredients. During lunch,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
a
person
eat
Change the verb form
eats
show examples
meals containing nearly 30% of
sodium
and only 26% of saturated fat.
On the other hand
, foods containing high
sodium
peaked during dinner with a portion
42
Change preposition
of 42
show examples
%,
while
sugar
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
least consumed during
this
period by only just a little over 19%.
Lastly
, a
person
ends the day with almost half up to 45% of snacks filled with added
sugar
,
comprises
Wrong verb form
comprised
show examples
of less fat by 19% and
sodium
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
17%.
Submitted by jasminnalya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, person with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: