The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 3 years 2005, 2010, 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #percentage #school #children #four #instruments #violin #guitar #piano #drums #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The given chart

indicate

Change the verb form

indicates

show examples

the section of

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

learning to play

Correct your spelling

different

differents

diffents

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different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of musical

Correct your spelling

instrumental

instumental

Correct your spelling

instrumental

in the year 2005,2010 and 2015.

Overall

, the piano and guitar

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

increased in

popularlity

Correct your spelling

popularity

while

drum and violin experience varying

indemand

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in-demand

demand

. Especially, piano and guitar

has

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have

show examples

recived incressed

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received increased

intention from

approximarely

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approximately

12% in 2005 to 34% in 2015.

Similarly

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

guitar there has been a noticeable

increse

Correct your spelling

increase

fromestimate11% in 2005 to 26% in 2015. Both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

musical

instrumental

Replace the word

instruments

show examples

clearly gained considerable popularity over the years.

Nevertheless

, the drums represent relatively smaller

chages

Correct your spelling

changes

charges

thoughtout

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throughout

the period,

mantaing

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maintaining

managing

the

amout

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amount

less than 10% in both 2005 and 2015. The violin

also

demonstated

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demonstrated

atomic

reduce

Replace the word

reduction

show examples

, with a slight decline

from10

Correct your spelling

from 10

% in 2005 to 5% in 2015.

Submitted by np.napatping on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

120 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentages
instruments
musical
trend
popularity
proportion
significantly
fluctuation
comparison
increase
decrease
evolution
decline
consistent
notable
ranking
statistical
learners
paraphrase
bar chart

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The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 3 years 2005, 2010, 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion