IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart describes the habits of
people
 in five Australian cities buying and drinking
coffee
 and tea. It is obvious that in all five
countries
, the
proportion
 of
people
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a cafe for
coffee
 or tea in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
 almost doubled the percentage of
people
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 fresh
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
 in all 5
countries
,
while
 the
proportion
 of
people
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 instant
coffee
 ranked at the middle. Looking into more details, among all 5
countries
, around 63% of
people
 in Melbourne went to a cafe for
coffee
 or tea in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weaks
Correct your spelling
weeks
, which is the biggest percentage. Hobart ranked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place at 62% and Sydney ranked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third at 61%.
In contrast
, only 34% of
people
 bought fresh
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
, which took the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
proportion
 among 5
countries
. Followed by 34% in Adelaide and 37% in Hobart.
Moreover
, comparing the
proportion
 of citizens
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 instant
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
 in 5
countries
, Brisbane
own
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
proportion
 of
people
. It is
also
 worth noticing that
Submitted by 1434110674 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, countries, proportion, weeks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buying habits
  • drinking habits
  • Australian cities
  • consumption
  • respondents
  • regular
  • participants
  • levels
  • observed
  • popular
What to do next:
Look at other essays: