IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As social media continue to develop, more and more youngsters have unsupervised access to all the contents available over the internet in order to meet and chat with friends and even strangers, which can lead to some potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

#media #youngsters #access #contents #internet #chat #friends #strangers #situations
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The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
show examples
 technology has so many
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 features to meet up
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new friends
by
Change preposition
via
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online
Add an article
the online
an online
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platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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. Teenagers are using a lot of internet websites to interact with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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random people which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 them
some
Change preposition
to some
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 hard situations.
This
 essay will discuss some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 how we can deal with
this
 problem in upcoming paragraphs
such
 as by
ban of
Wrong verb form
banning
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites and
by introduce
Change preposition
introducing
show examples
 hard punishment. To commence with the first
solution
, first and foremost the website has
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
content
 should be banned. Young generations are using
a different websites
Correct the article-noun agreement
different websites
a different website
show examples
 to meet with each other by using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and there are no restrictions on the
content
of using
Wrong verb form
used
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 by everyone. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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 some
content
such
 as gun wars which is one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
them a lot because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers are crazy about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
guns
Fix the agreement mistake
gun
show examples
content
.
For example
, students are using a game named Pubg for interaction
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
due to
 gun influence and the young generation
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence
as a result
 of
this
 a boy killed his friend because he did not provide him weapon in
game
Add an article
the game
show examples
.
Therefore
, to reduce the trouble of teenagers
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
content
 should be banned. Moving forward with
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
solution
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 needs to introduce the hard punishment who
misuse
Wrong verb form
misusing
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 the technology and uploading the
content
 which affects the
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people.
For instance
, pornography is banned
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 some nations because people using a lot to meet with new pupils and they do
scam
Fix the agreement mistake
scams
show examples
 which
effecting
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 them
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financially
as well as
 physically.
Therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 need to introduce hard punishment
such
 as
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 prison or heavy penalties
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
To conclude
, no doubts there are
different
Add an article
the different
a different
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem but I believe putting a ban on and introducing the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
prisnment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 to get rid of
this
 dust.
Submitted by ranjot59 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
Coherence
Use a range of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Supporting Examples
Try to make your examples more detail-oriented and directly related to the solutions you propose.
Grammar & Spelling
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors to enhance your written expression.
Vocabulary
Consider using a broader range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively and accurately.
Task Response
You provided clear solutions to the issue at hand, which helps in achieving task response.
Structure
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which are essential components of essay structure.
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