it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour

It is important for

children

to learn the

difference

between right and wrong at an early age. Some people believe that

punishment

is necessary to help learn the

difference

However

,other groups do not agree with that. In my opinion,

punishment

is necessary for

children

to learn something. On the one hand,in recent years,most people think the

punishment

is the very unnecessary thing which is

violence

.Most young

children

do not know what they do

that is

why sometimes they do wrong

things

but their

parents

do not tell

children

’s fault. At

this

time,

children

think they do whatever they want because they believe that their

parents

never scold them,

then

they do wrong

things

again and again. Because their

parents

do not tell their fault and do not punish their

children

On the other hand

,if

children

do wrong

things

,their

parents

need to punish them. If

parents

punish their

children

,they probably will not make mistakes twice.

However

punishment

is not

violence

For example

, one day, if

children

stole someone’s something. The

parents

need to tell them it was wrong and it was their fault for their

children

and punish their

children

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

washing dishes for a week and cleaning the home for

aweek

Correct your spelling

a week

. It is not

violence

. People should understand the

difference

between

punishment

and

violence

. All

things

considered,

punishment

is important for

children

to learn the

difference

between right and wrong at an early age. I believe that

punishment

is necessary to help them learn

this

distinction.

Submitted by buyabuya201 on Thu Apr 11 2024

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introduction

It's essential to provide a clear introduction that outlines your standpoint clearly and succinctly. Your introduction could be enhanced by directly stating your position on the topic.

content depth

To improve task achievement, consider exploring a broader range of arguments and incorporating more detailed examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your essay.

coherence

For coherence and cohesion, aim to start new paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph's main idea, and use a variety of transition words to help the reader follow your argument more easily.

language

Strive to use a diverse vocabulary and vary your sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and enhance readability.

stance

You articulated a clear stance on the importance of punishment for children learning right from wrong, maintaining your viewpoint throughout the essay.

argument depth

Your writing effectively differentiates between punishment and violence, providing a thoughtful perspective that enriches your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
positive reinforcement
consequences
time-outs
removal of privileges
open communication
clear expectations
consistency
fairness
disciplinary action
proportionate
moral values
internalization

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