it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
It is important for
children
to learn the difference
between right and wrong at an early age. Some people believe that punishment
is necessary to help learn the difference
. However
,other groups do not agree with that. In my opinion,punishment
is necessary for children
to learn something.
On the one hand,in recent years,most people think the punishment
is the very unnecessary thing which is violence
.Most young children
do not know what they do that is
why sometimes they do wrong things
but their parents
do not tell children
’s fault. At this
time,children
think they do whatever they want because they believe that their parents
never scold them,then
they do wrong things
again and again. Because their parents
do not tell their fault and do not punish their children
.
On the other hand
,if children
do wrong things
,their parents
need to punish them. If parents
punish their children
,they probably will not make mistakes twice.However
,punishment
is not violence
. For example
, one day, if children
stole someone’s something. The parents
need to tell them it was wrong and it was their fault for their children
and punish their children
such
as,
washing dishes for a week and cleaning the home for Remove the comma
apply
aweek
. It is not Correct your spelling
a week
violence
. People should understand the difference
between punishment
and violence
.
All things
considered, punishment
is important for children
to learn the difference
between right and wrong at an early age. I believe that punishment
is necessary to help them learn this
distinction.Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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introduction
It's essential to provide a clear introduction that outlines your standpoint clearly and succinctly. Your introduction could be enhanced by directly stating your position on the topic.
content depth
To improve task achievement, consider exploring a broader range of arguments and incorporating more detailed examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence
For coherence and cohesion, aim to start new paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph's main idea, and use a variety of transition words to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
language
Strive to use a diverse vocabulary and vary your sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and enhance readability.
stance
You articulated a clear stance on the importance of punishment for children learning right from wrong, maintaining your viewpoint throughout the essay.
argument depth
Your writing effectively differentiates between punishment and violence, providing a thoughtful perspective that enriches your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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