it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

It is important for
children
to learn the
difference
between right and wrong at an early age. Some people believe that
punishment
is necessary to help learn the
difference
.
However
,other groups do not agree with that. In my opinion,
punishment
is necessary for
children
to learn something. On the one hand,in recent years,most people think the
punishment
is the very unnecessary thing which is
violence
.Most young
children
do not know what they do
that is
why sometimes they do wrong
things
but their
parents
do not tell
children
’s fault. At
this
time,
children
think they do whatever they want because they believe that their
parents
never scold them,
then
they do wrong
things
again and again. Because their
parents
do not tell their fault and do not punish their
children
.
On the other hand
,if
children
do wrong
things
,their
parents
need to punish them. If
parents
punish their
children
,they probably will not make mistakes twice.
However
,
punishment
is not
violence
.
For example
, one day, if
children
stole someone’s something. The
parents
need to tell them it was wrong and it was their fault for their
children
and punish their
children
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
washing dishes for a week and cleaning the home for
aweek
Correct your spelling
a week
. It is not
violence
. People should understand the
difference
between
punishment
and
violence
. All
things
considered,
punishment
is important for
children
to learn the
difference
between right and wrong at an early age. I believe that
punishment
is necessary to help them learn
this
distinction.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
It's essential to provide a clear introduction that outlines your standpoint clearly and succinctly. Your introduction could be enhanced by directly stating your position on the topic.
content depth
To improve task achievement, consider exploring a broader range of arguments and incorporating more detailed examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence
For coherence and cohesion, aim to start new paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph's main idea, and use a variety of transition words to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
language
Strive to use a diverse vocabulary and vary your sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and enhance readability.
stance
You articulated a clear stance on the importance of punishment for children learning right from wrong, maintaining your viewpoint throughout the essay.
argument depth
Your writing effectively differentiates between punishment and violence, providing a thoughtful perspective that enriches your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!