The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park secondary school since it's construction in 1950. Summarise the information and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent 1950 Main road Houses school Farmland playground 1980 Main road Car park science block school Sports field play ground 2010 Main road Car park science block school Sports field play ground

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The diagram illustrates the substantial changes in the West Park secondary

school

zone in three different periods with 30-year intervals from 1950 to 2010.

Overall

, it can be seen that the

school

and playground still remain in the same position.

However

, other facilities have been substituted from time to time. The

school

stood at the same place but there was an extension of the science block on the left-handed side of the

school

and the proposal of the old building was changed into a main building and it stayed the same throughout 2010.

On the other hand

, the playground area which was the same size as the

school

in 1950 and located at the bottom of the

school

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased in 2010. The farmland and Houses in 1950 were replaced by the carpark, the new science block and the sports field.

In addition

, in 2010, the sports field's size was reduced and relocated to beside the playground. The car park in 1980 was expanded and replaced the 1980 sport field area.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Fri Apr 12 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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