IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the information of the number of volunteers and paid workers in 4 different roles in the sports sector of an Australian town in 2015.

The bar chart shows the information of the number of volunteers and paid workers in 4 different roles in the sports sector of an Australian town in 2015.
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The bar graph illustrates how many
volunteers
Use synonyms
 and
workers
Use synonyms
 in 4 kinds of roles
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
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the sports
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 sector in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australia
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 in 2015. It is noticeable that the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 proportion of
volunteers
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 worked as a coach,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of referees was the lowest in the
firgure
Correct your spelling
figure
.
Overall
Linking Words
, only the paid
workers
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,
who‘s
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whose
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 career was referee, was higher than
volunteers
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'.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, around 72 unpaid people took on coaching, followed by other sections, approximately 60
volunteers
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. The figure for volunteer therapists was half of that in coaching, with almost 45
volunteers
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,
while
Linking Words
 only about 30
volunteers
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 became referees. Nearly 50 paid
workers
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 preferred to work in other sections, which was marginally higher than the number of paid coaches (over 40 people). The figures for
workers
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 in
therapist
Correct article usage
the therapist
show examples
 and referee sections witnessed almost no clear distinction, as each welcomed more or less 40
workers
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words volunteers, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • volunteers
  • paid workers
  • roles
  • sports sector
  • Australian town
  • duties
  • motivations
  • significance
  • contribution
  • professionalism
  • specialization
  • sustainability
  • distribution
  • trends
  • volunteerism
  • community engagement
  • professional development
  • accessibility
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