Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that watching

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apply

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Use synonyms

and playing video

games

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are not beneficial for the mental

health

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children

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. I strongly agree with the statement because spending

excessive

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an excessive

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amount of

time

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apply

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watching

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instils

the

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apply

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negative thoughts into a child's brain, and online gaming prevents

children

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from having physical activities that are important for their mental

growth

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. Spending a longer period of

time

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means remaining attuned to the flow of information being depicted.

This

Linking Words

teaches

children

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the bad and good aspects of the society.

Moreover

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children

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's minds are more vulnerable, and they are at an impressionable age. So, they are unable to differentiate the good and bad things that they watch

from

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show examples

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apply

show examples

Use synonyms

, leading their minds towards imbibing negative aspects

such

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as robbery, nudity, crimes and so on.

Such

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negative

learnings

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learning

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inhibits a

childs'

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child's

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mental

growth

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due to

Linking Words

the

lackness

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lack

positive

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a positive

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mindset.

For example

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, those

children

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who watch more

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, specifically

age restricted

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age-restricted

show examples

videos, and lack support from their parents are less likely to maintain their mental

health

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under control. The primary reason why playing video

games

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is not helpful for the mental

health

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children

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is the lack of physical movement. Sitting on a chair for

prolonged

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a prolonged

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period prevents

children

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from performing outdoor

games

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and other activities that are imperative for

the

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apply

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mental

health

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. These days

children

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spend excessive

amount

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amounts

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time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing computer

games

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, which not only lacks

the

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apply

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mental

growth

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but

also

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

overall

Linking Words

development of a child.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is scientifically

proved

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proven

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that any kind of physical

exercises

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exercise

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helps us improve mental wellbeing.

Thus

Linking Words

, I think that watching

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

and playing online

games

Use synonyms

are not beneficial for the mental

health

Use synonyms

of youth. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

watching

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apply

show examples

Use synonyms

and playing video

games

Use synonyms

may seem important for the

growth

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children

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, I think that performing these activities for a longer period of

time

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is not beneficial for a child's mental

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

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because a

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caters

negative

Change preposition

to negative

show examples

aspects of the society , and sitting for over hours means lack of

phyical

Correct your spelling

physical

exercises that are vital for the mental

health

Use synonyms

gauravkalathiya123

Apr 13, 2024

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task achievement

Consider diversifying your examples to strengthen your argument. While you provided relevant examples, incorporating a wider range of instances or adding more detail can enrich your argument further.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, aim to link ideas more smoothly within paragraphs. Utilising a variety of transitional phrases can improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to repetition in your vocabulary. Expanding your lexical resource with synonyms and related terms can prevent repetition and make your essay more engaging.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.

task achievement

You present a strong stance and consistently support it throughout your essay, demonstrating good task achievement.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
exposure to violence
addiction
reduced physical activity
hand-eye coordination
strategic thinking
multitasking skills
moderation
parental guidance
balanced approach
screen time
social interaction
sense of community
social skills
social isolation
alternative activities
outdoor activities
family interaction
mental health issues
educational programs
problem-solving games

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. Do you agree or disagree?