The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table illustrates where people spent their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on different items by gender and age in
United
Correct article usage
the United

Your article usage with the geographic name United Kingdom may be incorrect.

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Kingdom in 1998.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is clearly seen that adults tended to spend their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more on food,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the largest expenditure among children was music. In detail, the largest expenditure on food was from women,
consisted
Wrong verb form
consisting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb consisted. Consider changing it.

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of 39%.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, 14% of men spent their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on food, which was followed by boys and girls. Regarding purchasing electronic
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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, it is noteworthy that males had
stronger
Correct article usage
a stronger

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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preference than females regardless of age. The percentage of male adults and male children who spent on electronic devices was
each
Correct determiner usage
apply

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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10% and 18%,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

only 1% of women and 5% of girls purchased electronic items. Turning to the figure for music, it is noticeable that children showed
strong
Correct article usage
a strong

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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preference
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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spending their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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music compared to adults regardless of gender.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the percentage of boys and girls who spent their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on videos was 18% and 17%, respectively,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
least
Correct word choice
lowest

There may be an adjective issue here.

show examples
proportion of men and women who spent on those was only 2% and 0.5%, respectively.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words money with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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