some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #sbjects #time #attendtion #qualifications

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Education is the most powerful asset of a person . Educated youth is the backbone of the society. Education is the key to success

therefore

in the midst of change , people are eager to ace as many as

subjects

they can . In the present scenario, society has been divided into two different groups as per distinct mindsets of different peoples. Where a colossal number of people claim to learn many additional

subjects

besides

the main academic

subjects

to gain knowledge meanwhile ,

on the contrary

, some communities Accord that it is better to stay focused on their main

subjects

. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion. In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs

as well as

proffer examples to justify my point of view

Submitted by shyamal017 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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task response

Your essay has a clear introduction; however, an explicit thesis statement outlining your personal stance on this topic would make your introduction stronger. Consider explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction and conclusion for clarity.

task response

While you have touched upon the two viewpoints, exploring these views with more depth, by adding more detailed examples and explanations, would enhance your response. This would help in fully developing your arguments and increasing the task achievement score.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay shows an attempt to structure your ideas logically, but it can be improved. Try to divide your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific idea or viewpoint. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your discussion more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Use more transition words and phrases to link ideas and paragraphs more smoothly. This will help improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments more coherent.

task response

You've initiated a broad discussion on the topic, showing awareness of different perspectives.

coherence and cohesion

The language you've used is largely appropriate for the essay, contributing positively to the overall readability of your response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

140 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diversify
expand
academic pursuits
well-rounded education
multidisciplinary approach
comprehensive understanding
broaden one's horizons
acquire new skills
develop critical thinking
resolve complex issues
boost employability
strengthen one's foundation
pursue personal growth
achieve career success
strike a balance
gain an edge
mainstream subjects
narrow-minded
rigorous studying

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some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

IELTS essay, topic: Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home, why and what are the advantages/disadvantages? Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home. Why do you think it happens? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a choice?

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is effective for students to study in a group at school, while others think it is better to study alone. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.