IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » Write at least 150 words.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » Write at least 150 words.
#land #three #regions #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Pie Chart depicts the causes for
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 field converting into Less Productive
as well as
Provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
Provides
show examples
 regions affected by it. As can be seen from the table
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
Europ
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 was the one, which had the highest percentage of
land
 degraded followed by Oceania and North America.
According to
 the Pie chart, over-grazing and deforestation had
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
 above a quarter followed by over. cultivation by 28%.
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
 was the One reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
degradation
 of 7%, which was the least among all
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
given. The most
eyecatching
Correct your spelling
eye-catching
show examples
 figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
degradation
 by region was Europe
by having
Verb problem
with
show examples
 nearly a quarter of total
land
degradation
 followed by Oceania
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 13%.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 Oceania was the most affected by
over- grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 11.3 %.
Meariwhile
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
 Europe had the major proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 deforestation
as well as
 in
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Cultivation
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
9.3 and 7.7 % in
land
degradation
 as compared to all.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
What to do next:
Look at other essays: