The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
The surge in
Correct article usage
the numbers
numbers
of children becoming obese is significant in Fix the agreement mistake
number
western
countries, and it is a matter of concern for the government and parents. Capitalize word
Western
This
essay will delve into the reasons behind this
cause and will discuss adverse
effects of Correct article usage
the adverse
this
problem.
No one cast a shadow of doubt on increase
in Add an article
the increase
an increase
number
of overweight children, the prime factors behind Change the article
a number
the number
this
circumstances are unhealthy dietary habits and Correct determiner usage
these
least
physical activity.
Correct article usage
the least
In other words
, nowadays, youngsters prefer more
junk foods with oit and sugars over eating healthy; Correct quantifier usage
apply
as a result
, individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
gains
weight. Alternatively, Correct subject-verb agreement
gain
due to
poverty parents are unable to provide healthy meals and child
has to rely on cheaper food like chips and burgers. Correct article usage
the child
Nevertheless
, due to
pervasive
use of smart Correct article usage
the pervasive
devices
off-springs avoid physical games, Add a comma
devices,
this
results in a sedentary lifestyle
Correct pronoun usage
which
On the other hand
, sedentary
lifestyle Correct article usage
a sedentary
further
results in a disease like diabetes type 2, obesity and thyroid. Moreover
, obese child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
is
at greater risk of mental illness and bullies. To explain, a Correct subject-verb agreement
are
child
with overweight feels dissatisfied with his body, and their self confidence
starts to decline. In schools and other places other kids Add a hyphen
self-confidence
bullies
by calling them fat and so more. Eventually, Fix the agreement mistake
bully them
this
leads to a
isolation or overeating. Remove the article
apply
Furthermore
, in
obese Correct your spelling
an
person
heart has to work harder to maintain blood flow in Change noun form
person's
entire
body; Add an article
the entire
due to
this
, obesity leads to a
fatal heart disease. Treatment of heart disease Remove the article
apply
also
creates burden
on the government, as the government has to fund Add an article
a burden
a
treatment of a Correct article usage
the
child
.
To conclude
, The major reasons behind increasing
number of overweight children are unhealthy dietary habits and lack of exercise. Eventually, Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
this
results in a lifelong and fatal diseases
and denying Correct the article-noun agreement
lifelong and fatal diseases
a lifelong and fatal disease
self-esteem
of a Correct article usage
the self-esteem
child
and it burdens the legislation.Submitted by patel2dhruvil202 on
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Content Understanding
Effectively identified key causes and effects related to the topic, demonstrating a strong understanding.
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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