IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the avarage monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph below shows the avarage monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#line #avarage #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparison
The line graph illustrates the
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 monthly
temperature
 in
Paris
,
Dubai
 and
Sydney
 from January to December.
Dependin
Correct your spelling
Depending
 on
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
,
Dubai
 and
Paris
 have
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 scale for
temperature
 for the beginning of the year, and both
cities
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak
August
Change preposition
in August
show examples
,
while
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 show that, both
cities
 are experiencing
downfall
Correct article usage
a downfall
show examples
 for the end of the year.
Although
, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
Sydney
 starting has
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 as the other
cities
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it reaches its lowest
temperature
 in July and gradually towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
December
Sydney
 becomes on top of
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
.
In contrast
,
Dubai
 and
Paris
 have steady
beginning
Fix the agreement mistake
beginnings
show examples
respectfully
Replace the word
respectively
show examples
 19 and 5
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
Expected
Correct article usage
The expected
show examples
 top result for both
cities
 appears in June,
while
Dubai
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 the scale of statistics with over 35
celcius
, and
Paris
following
Wrong verb form
follows
show examples
 with
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 of 20
celcius
Change the capitalization
Celcius
show examples
.
Downfall
Replace the word
The downward
show examples
 trend for
temperature
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 happens in December.
On the other hand
, it becomes
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 for
Sydney
 as
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 faces its start
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 with
Dubai
 and
Paris
. For the ongoing July period city performs with the lowest
temperature
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 of below 15
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
.
However
, closer to the end of the year it is visible from the data that
Sydney
 leads the ranking
while
 surpassing
Dubai
 with a few
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 more.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words avarage, temperature, paris, dubai, sydney, cities, celcius with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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