Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion.

#people #history #school #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology #tour

In these modern days, some individuals argue

History

is quite crucial as

Change the article

show examples

education subject, others believe

Science

and

Technology

are more valuable and relevant. In

this

essay, I will explain both of these views and give my opinion. On one hand,

History

tell

Change the verb form

tells

show examples

us about what happened in the past, in Indonesia mostly

told

Wrong verb form

tells

show examples

us about our

ancestor

Fix the agreement mistake

ancestors

show examples

struggle for independence and the

indonesian

Change the capitalization

Indonesian

show examples

primitive society. I believe learning about

Correct article usage

a nation

show examples

nation

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

history

is crucial.

Besides

gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

around

Change preposition

about

show examples

the stories, we can grasp the determination and other emotions from

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. We may

also

get some approaches to solve problems in the

future

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apply

show examples

because histories repeat itself. An example

for

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show examples

this

is how repeatable

recession

Fix the agreement mistake

recessions

show examples

are and how we might prepare and approach

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

On the other hand

Science

and

Technology

are the

future

. It enables us to discover and invent to solve our today issues.

Additionally

, it

also

provide

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provides

show examples

us with knowledge to learn, treat, and optimize what we have.

For example

, nowadays we learn the root cause of earth’s pollution and minimize it by changing our power plant energy source,

regulate

Wrong verb form

regulating

show examples

transportation, and even

minimize

Wrong verb form

minimising

show examples

the carbon production from farming by creating meat imitation. By prioritizing

Science

and

Technology

, we can improve human civilization and provide

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

future

Change preposition

From

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my perspective, I believe that

History

is important but not as important

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show examples

Science

and

Technology

. We should still learn about national

history

but the others are not quite important.

Furthermore

, we should prioritize

Science

and

Technology

more to improve our living and prepare our

future

Submitted by ridhokholis9a on Wed Apr 17 2024

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Task Achievement

To further improve your score, consider developing your examples with more detail and depth, particularly in discussing the importance and impact of science and technology.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on refining the clarity and conciseness of your sentences to enhance readability and coherence.

Task Achievement

While your position is clear, elaborating more on the contrast and comparison between the importance of history versus science and technology could enhance your argument's complexity and depth.

Task Achievement

You have effectively introduced both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to discussing each view as well as your own opinion.

Task Achievement

You've used relevant examples to support your points about the importance of both history and science and technology.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your views, reinforcing the standpoint you've taken in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?