IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 201 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 201 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
 between
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of shop
closures
Use synonyms
 and openings in one country from 2011 to 2018. Depending on
reported
Add an article
the reported
show examples
 information, 2011
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest rate of openings
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8500
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number dramatically declined by
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2018,
while
Linking Words
closures
Use synonyms
perform
Wrong verb form
performed
show examples
 constantly changing results.
While
Linking Words
 opening rates of shops exceed the
closures
Use synonyms
 by 2000 difference, it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 undeniable to expect
downfall
Correct article usage
a downfall
show examples
 trend of 4000 within a year.Increasing results survived till 2014 were both opening and closers had similar rates of over 6000. For the end of
2018
Add a comma
2018,
show examples
 the number of shops that opened hit its lowest by 3000. Closure numbers
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 shops had drastically changing performance as it began with around 6300 in 2011,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 tragic decrease
happed
Correct your spelling
happen
show examples
 in 2015 by 500
closures
Use synonyms
.
In between
Change preposition
Between
show examples
 2016
till
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2018 steady rates become 5000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words closures with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • steady
  • decline
  • increase
  • peak
  • trough
  • magnitude
  • trend
  • surpass
  • plummet
  • annual
  • consecutive
  • closure rate
  • inception rate
  • net growth
  • commercial landscape
  • retail sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: