IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs give data about proportions of the results of a research at a new shopping mall in Auckland, New Zealand

The graphs give data about proportions of the results of a research at a new shopping mall in Auckland, New Zealand
The given pie chart indicates information concerning rates of the outcome of research at a new shopping centre in Auckland, and New Zealand. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that most
people
Use synonyms
 are satisfied with their shopping mall
while
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 a few
people
Use synonyms
 are dissatisfied with it. First and foremost, a cursory glance at the data reveals that satisfied
people
Use synonyms
 to newly built shopping centres had the highest rates
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
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 of over half of
people
Use synonyms
(62%) after that very satisfied
people
Use synonyms
 followed by satisfied rate account for 17%.
In addition
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, another eye-catching feature is that Dissatisfied
people
Use synonyms
 and No comment
people
Use synonyms
 had similar rates.
This
Linking Words
 figure was 11%, and 11%, respectively.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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