Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important?

#job #satisfaction #luxury #countries

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

new era , a

job

must be done with happiness and

satisfaction

by the workers is a new trend going

nowadays

Change preposition

on nowadays

show examples

in numerous rations which are still evolving . There are many reasons behind

this

new viewpoint and

this

essay will cover it in the following paragraphs .

as well as

my opinion on

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

job

satisfaction

is important or not. →

Firstly

, discussing the various reasons behind

this

trend, the first and foremost point is that, if

Change the article

show examples

employee

is finding

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

their

work

enjoyable,

then

they will

work

hard towards it with determination.

As a result

, the company in which someone is working with hard

work

will definitely be able to gain profit.

Furthermore

, the workers will perform their

work

with

outmost

Correct your spelling

utmost

show examples

trust and loyalty and

this

will help that organization

as well as

a ration to grow . For elaboration , if numerous companies are gaining much more profit, it will directly affect the region's

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

sector and it will grow and all of these will ultimately

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

a country to develop rapidly. →

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, in my point of view I highly think that

job

satisfaction

is very essential because

firstly

it helps people to earn money in

Correct determiner usage

show examples

fun way.

For instance

, if individuals are working in a field where they can enjoy their

work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

performing it the rate of becoming that

job

successful increases and

apart from

this

, they won't

be get

Change the verb form

get

show examples

bored.

Besides

these, skilled and talented workers in various professions can even represent their country at

Correct your spelling

show examples

international level. To give an example, a cricketer

name

Replace the word

named

show examples

Virat Kohli is famous worldwide

due to

his passion and

enjoyment

Correct article usage

the enjoyment

show examples

he receives from his

work

of playing cricket.

To sum up

, there are myriads of reasons why

job

satisfaction

is essential in numerous evolving regions around the world and I believe that

job

satisfaction

is a very essential factor which paces up the speed of development in a country.

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Thu Apr 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure

Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

Examples

Be mindful of using relevant, specific examples to support your points. While the example of Virat Kohli is good, adding more varied examples could strengthen your argument.

Language

Work on clarity and precision in your language. Avoid using phrases like 'outmost trust' and 'in o fun way' which may confuse readers or detract from your argument.

Grammar

Review and correct grammar and punctuation errors to improve the readability and professionalism of your writing.

Content

You have a strong understanding of the essay topic and provided a reasoned argument for why job satisfaction is important.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion neatly bookend your essay, demonstrating good planning and structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent does advertising influence our choices as consumers and what effect does it have on our lifestyle? Discuss this issue and give your opinion.
In the current era, advertisements are ubiquitous in everyone's daily life, such as on TV, on radio, on the billboards, on a page people are viewing on their phones and computers. Some people say that advertisements are informative which are useful in our lives, however, I reckon that the negative effects outweight the benefits.
4.5
band
Share your academic and non-academic accomplishments (applicable to undergraduate and vocational students) and any relevant industry experience (only for vocational students). Please elaborate on the processes and skills you've acquired during your previous or ongoing degree program.
I believe discovering joy in learning encourages individuals to approach challenges with unconventional ideas and cultivate innovative solutions. Hence, medical school did not stop me from pursuing my passion. In the past two and half years, I have built a socio-health platform while maintaining my 3.61 GPA. I am grateful because my platforms, Little Scientia and Healthy Higinia, allow me to resolve health-related social issues such as dietary problems and impaired children development directly. Various institutions appreciated my efforts, and I have been awarded funding grants four times.
5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Children’s using smartphones habit is now one of the most controversial issues that people like to debate. I believe that drawbacks of using electronic device outweigh its benefits.
5
band
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
The discourse surrounding social media has always been a part of discussion due to its negative and positive effects on society. While some contend that it has more negative effects on youth, debaters argue that it has some positive aspects such as connecting people from all over the world. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints and will present my reasons to support the later view.
5
band
You agreed to take a particular job over the summer, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you can no longer take the position. Write a letter including: - Explaining your situation - An apology - Express that you would be interested in the position next summer
Dear Manager, I am writing this letter to express my gratitude for providing me with the opportunity. But unfortunately, Because of some reason, I might be not able to join for this role.Firstly I was very excited to join your team and taking this exciting role for this summer. Moreover, thought of this might be helpful for me as a financial support for paying my tuition fees at the university. But due to multiple reasons I will be failing to do so. Primarily my grand father is undergoing a surgery in the early of this summer. which will require for him atleast 3 to 4 months for recovery. Therefore as per the suggestion of the doctor, the patient should be supervised for all 24 hours a day. So, it is my primary duty to give my full support.I hope you consider my request and accept my apologies. I will be very happy if you consider me for the same role in the coming summer.Hope to hear from you soonYours sincerelyTarun

Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent does advertising influence our choices as consumers and what effect does it have on our lifestyle? Discuss this issue and give your opinion.

Share your academic and non-academic accomplishments (applicable to undergraduate and vocational students) and any relevant industry experience (only for vocational students). Please elaborate on the processes and skills you've acquired during your previous or ongoing degree program.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You agreed to take a particular job over the summer, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you can no longer take the position. Write a letter including: - Explaining your situation - An apology - Express that you would be interested in the position next summer