Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development

Transactions

money

among people and businesses

has

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have

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been a daily occurrence

since

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for

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many

millenia

Correct your spelling

millennia

Although

in the past

transfering

Correct your spelling

transferring

was a tangible activity involving notes and coins, with the advancements in internet and mobile technologies, the physical aspect of fund

transfering

Correct your spelling

transferring

has now mostly transitioned into electronic means. In my opinion, I believe that

this

transformation is a favourable evolution

due to

several key benefits. one of the main benefits of performing

money

transfering

Correct your spelling

transfer

transferring

with the aid of technology is the high level of convenience experienced. Since

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apply

show examples

transactions

are carried out electronically, there are no limitations in locale, and

also

the activities are performed

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in realtime

show examples

realtime

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real time

show examples

For example

, if family members living in

seperate

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separate

countries require to move funds amongst each other, now they can achieve

this

using a mobile banking app.

Thus

such

features

provides

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provide

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hassle free

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hassle-free

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and convenient means of carrying out

such

activities. Another advantage of electronic fund

transfering

Correct your spelling

transferring

can be linked to the high

leve

Correct your spelling

level

of security provided to

money

. In the past transfering cash required people to physically move

money

from one place to another, which increases the chances of a theft occurring.

For instance

, at present

money

can be digitally

transfered

Correct your spelling

transferred

between bank accounts, and these

transactions

are

end to end

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end-to-end

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encrypted ensuring

the

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show examples

high level of security.

Furthermore

, as electronic

money

transfering creates a digital

foot print

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footprint

show examples

of all the activities, it can be used in terms of valuable information for budgeting purposes. Since

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apply

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financial institutions

records

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record

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details of all the

transactions

people or businesses can use these data for analysis purposes for

future

plans. One example can be related to a household where the family use the past transaction data to understand

about

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apply

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unnecessary past expenses that they can avoid in the

future

to improve their savings.

Thereby

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Therefore

show examples

such

data is very valuable when planning for the

future

Thus

in conclusion, I strongly believe that the shift of

money

transfering

Correct your spelling

transferring

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional methods to the current electronic means has many benefits ranging from an individual perspective to global e-commerce,

due to

the convenience, level of security, and opportunities to support

future

fund

managment

Correct your spelling

management

that

such

means provide.

Submitted by kanishka.wimalasuriya on Fri Apr 19 2024

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Grammar

Ensure to check for grammatical accuracy and consistency in tense usage throughout your essay. Minor errors can slightly impact the overall clarity but are easily improved with careful proofreading.

Sentence Structure

Consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance the complexity and flow of your writing. This can elevate your essay's readability and engagement.

Content Depth

To further strengthen your argument, you might include a brief discussion on potential drawbacks of digital transactions, providing a balanced view before concluding on its overall positivity. This approach could enrich your essay's depth.

Content Relevance

Your essay effectively outlines the benefits of digital transactions, offering clear and relevant examples that support your points well.

Structure

You've systematically organized your essay with a logical flow, incorporating an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

357 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

As a consequence of improved medical care, people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The effect of people to the environment is so much nowadays,what can the government and individuals do to restore or prevent further damage to the environment.

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think that public speaking skill is very important? Some people say that it should be taught at school. Do you agree or disagree?