Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?
Transactions
of money
among people and businesses has
been a daily occurrence Change the verb form
have
since
many Change preposition
for
millenia
. Correct your spelling
millennia
Although
in the past transfering
was a tangible activity involving notes and coins, with the advancements in internet and mobile technologies, the physical aspect of fund Correct your spelling
transferring
transfering
has now mostly transitioned into electronic means. In my opinion, I believe that Correct your spelling
transferring
this
transformation is a favourable evolution due to
several key benefits.
one of the main benefits of performing money
transfering
with the aid of technology is the high level of convenience experienced. SinceCorrect your spelling
transfer
transferring
,
Remove the comma
apply
transactions
are carried out electronically, there are no limitations in locale, and also
the activities are performed Change preposition
in realtime
realtime
. Correct your spelling
real time
For example
, if family members living in seperate
countries require to move funds amongst each other, now they can achieve Correct your spelling
separate
this
using a mobile banking app. Thus
, such
features provides
a Change the verb form
provide
hassle free
and convenient means of carrying out Add a hyphen
hassle-free
such
activities.
Another advantage of electronic fund transfering
can be linked to the high Correct your spelling
transferring
leve
of security provided to Correct your spelling
level
money
. In the past transfering cash required people to physically move money
from one place to another, which increases the chances of a theft occurring. For instance
, at present money
can be digitally transfered
between bank accounts, and these Correct your spelling
transferred
transactions
are end to end
encrypted ensuring Add a hyphen
end-to-end
the
high level of security.
Correct article usage
a
Furthermore
, as electronic money
transfering creates a digital foot print
of all the activities, it can be used in terms of valuable information for budgeting purposes. SinceCorrect your spelling
footprint
,
financial institutions Remove the comma
apply
records
details of all the Change the verb form
record
transactions
people or businesses can use these data for analysis purposes for future
plans. One example can be related to a household where the family use the past transaction data to understand about
unnecessary past expenses that they can avoid in the Change preposition
apply
future
to improve their savings. Thereby
, Rephrase
Therefore
such
data is very valuable when planning for the future
.
Thus
in conclusion, I strongly believe that the shift of money
transfering
from Correct your spelling
transferring
the
traditional methods to the current electronic means has many benefits ranging from an individual perspective to global e-commerce, Correct article usage
apply
due to
the convenience, level of security, and opportunities to support future
fund managment
that Correct your spelling
management
such
means provide.Submitted by kanishka.wimalasuriya on
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Grammar
Ensure to check for grammatical accuracy and consistency in tense usage throughout your essay. Minor errors can slightly impact the overall clarity but are easily improved with careful proofreading.
Sentence Structure
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance the complexity and flow of your writing. This can elevate your essay's readability and engagement.
Content Depth
To further strengthen your argument, you might include a brief discussion on potential drawbacks of digital transactions, providing a balanced view before concluding on its overall positivity. This approach could enrich your essay's depth.
Content Relevance
Your essay effectively outlines the benefits of digital transactions, offering clear and relevant examples that support your points well.
Structure
You've systematically organized your essay with a logical flow, incorporating an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in reader comprehension.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.