Some people think that all unviersity students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In recent years many people
assume
Wrong verb form
have assumed
show examples
that we should study subjects that
he
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
desires
Correct subject-verb agreement
desire
show examples
. Is it a better (option)? Some people believe in allowing students to learn practical matters for the upcoming days,
whereas
others believe
otherwise
.
However
, I strongly believe that the advantages of letting scholars choose their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subjects outweigh the drawbacks. On one hand, if students have options to choose their classes, they will have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
ease to develop their dreams pathway.
Firstly
, most of them will enjoy their time gaining
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new knowledge they want to learn without having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure to do so, resulting
high
Change preposition
in high
show examples
scores in their semester report.
Secondly
, by becoming proficient in what they have selected, they will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
initiatively create new jobs in the current fields.
Moreover
, these individuals will gain satisfaction in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
because what they pursue
is aligning
Wrong verb form
aligns
show examples
with their
life
purpose.
On the other hand
, one who attains skills that correspond with what is helpful in the time ahead would
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
from the recent career demands. First of all, it would be easy to find
IT
Correct article usage
an IT
show examples
engineer vacancy,
for instance
.
In addition
,
this
choice will secure someone a guaranteed job, having financial benefits, like being financially stable
as a consequence
.
Nonetheless
, boredom might be an unavoidable situation for them because there is minimal challenge in their field.
To conclude
,
although
freedom in topic choosing might bring an easier
life
journey than restricting what appears to be useful in the future. It has more advantages, specifically in terms of proficiency and
life
purpose.
Submitted by paslonbahagia on

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task achievement
Consider refining your argument with more distinct, nuanced examples to illustrate your points. This would enrich your essay and provide a more robust discussion.
coherence cohesion
Aim for clarity and simplicity in your wording to ensure your ideas are effortlessly understood. Avoid overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader.
general
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Enhance the introduction and conclusion to more directly address the essay question, providing a clear thesis statement and summarizing your main points more concisely.
task achievement
You've maintained a balanced discussion by examining both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows well with logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs, making your argument easy to follow.

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