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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of energy generated from five different sources, namely Hydropower, Oil, Nuclear power, Coal, Natural gas, in a particular nation between 1983 and 2003.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of energy generated from five different sources, namely Hydropower, Oil, Nuclear power, Coal, Natural gas, in a particular nation between 1983 and 2003.
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The pie charts
compere
Correct your spelling
compare
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 various forms of energy sources which
produced
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were produced
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 from 1983 to 2003.
It is clear that
 Oil was
a
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apply
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dominant in twenty years
although
, Hydroelectric
power
, a renewable origin of energy, was at the lowest stage of supplying
power
. Regarding the statistics information, what stands out from the schemes is that Oil with 42% had the first point among others
however
, it experienced a dramatic decrease to 33% in two decades.
Moreover
, Natural gas stood at the second stage with 26% and dipped negligibly by 1% in the period. Another
non renewable
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non-renewable
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power
,coal, showed a marked growth from 22% to 27% between 1983 to 2003. looking at the graphs more closely depict that both Hydroelectric
power
 and Nuclear
power
 covered 5% of requirements and
amount
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the amount
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 of nuclear usage doubled from 1983 to 2003
while
 the amount of Hydroelectric utilization
maintained
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was maintained
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 at the same level in these years.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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