The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps showcase the
plan
of transformations made for a university’s sport
centre layout in the future.
Upon closer examination, it can be seen that the Change the noun form
sports
plan
will take its majority change in two
specific areas which are the outdoor courts
.
Nowadays, the university sports
centre consists of two
outdoor courts
and several facilities. Firstly
, The entrance of the sports
centre is located in the south of the map and headed up directly to the reception. Behind the reception, 25-m
Correct article usage
the 25-m
pool
is located in the middle surrounded by the gym in the north, seating
area in the east, and Correct article usage
a seating
changing
Correct article usage
a changing
room
in the west of the pool
. All of this
facilities will remain the same in the future Correct determiner usage
these
plan
map. In addition
, there are two
outdoor courts
, one located in the west of changing
Correct article usage
the changing
room
and other
in the east of Correct article usage
the other
seating
area.
Correct article usage
the seating
According to
the plan
, these 2 outdoor courts
will have a significant change in the plan
. The first outdoor court located in the west of changing
Correct article usage
the changing
room
is to be converted into leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
pool
and changing
Correct article usage
the changing
room
in south
of the Add an article
the south
pool
. Meanwhile, the other court is removed and replaced for
a Change preposition
with
sports
hall and two
dance studios with changing room
in the south of them. The gym is Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
also
expanded to the east side of it. A cafe and a sports
shop are added in the south-east and south-west of the reception, respectively.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the comparison. To further enhance the introduction, consider directly mentioning that your essay will compare the current layout with the future redevelopment plans.
Comparative Language
In discussing the changes, it's helpful to maintain a consistent and comparative approach throughout. Where you’ve outlined the existing and future changes well, sometimes adding explicit comparison phrases ('will be replaced by', 'will be transformed into') could strengthen the comparison between the two time periods.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises the changes adequately, but it could be strengthened by explicitly referencing the most significant changes or the overall impact of the redevelopment on the sports centre's functionality.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, consider using more transitional phrases that indicate time or change (e.g., 'subsequently', 'following this', 'as a result') to more clearly delineate between the current state and future plans.
Detail and Depth
Your description benefits from a good level of detail and comparisons, making your essay informative. However, for an even stronger Task Achievement score, ensure every part of the prompt is covered with equal depth, including minor changes that add to the overall understanding of the redevelopment.
Clarity and Detail
You effectively reported on the main features and changes in the sports centre, giving clear descriptions of both the current and future layouts.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs detailing the changes, and a conclusion. This structure aids in reader understanding.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.