IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The images illustrate the current display of the college
sports
 centre alongside the proposed developments.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the plans depict significant modifications to the
facilities
, including the addition of dance studios, a cafe, a
sports
 shop, a leisure pool, and a
sports
 hall.
Additionally
, the plans entail expanding the gym and changing
room
facilities
while
 replacing the outdoor courts. At present, the
sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 comprises both indoor and outdoor areas. Within the indoor section, visitors encounter a reception
area
 upon entering the building. The indoor space includes four distinct areas: a seating
area
 to the east, a gym
area
 to the north, a changing
room
 to the west, and a central pool
area
, which is the largest.
Furthermore
, the college currently has two outdoor courts situated on either side of the indoor structure. Regarding the plans, the university will develop
this
 exercise facility.
For instance
, there will be new
facilities
 for two dance studios in the east, a cafe and a
sports
 shop near reception, a
sports
 hall with a large size next to the seating
area
, and a substantial leisure pool.
Furthermore
, the gym
room
 will be expanded, and the changing
room
 will be added in three locations. Surprisingly, the outdoor courts will no longer exist in the future since all of the
facilities
 will be indoors.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction
To further improve, consider providing a more detailed introduction that more effectively sets the stage for your analysis, perhaps by briefly mentioning the significance of this redevelopment.
cohesion
While your essay effectively describes the changes, incorporating more comparative language could enhance clarity and cohesion, making it easier for readers to understand the differences between the current and future layouts.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main changes. However, adding a few reflections on the potential impact of these changes on students or the community could offer a stronger closing.
content
You effectively summarized the key features of the present and proposed developments of the sports center, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
structure
Your organizational structure is clear, with separate paragraphs for the current situation and planned changes, enhancing readability.
language
You used a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary related to the topic, which contributed to an overall coherence and cohesion of your text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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