The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Traditionally, most of the companies, MNC’s and other organizations offer the executive positions to elder
people
. However
, their
exists a quarrel that younger folks are best leaders. I unequivocally agree that older Replace the word
there
people
are the
better Correct article usage
apply
then
young Replace the word
than
people
, as they have more in-depth knowledge and experience.
To begin
with, a global shift can be observed where spiking
number of companies are being managed by younger Add an article
a spiking
the spiking
people
and it sometimes leads to temporary or sometimes permanent unstability
of companies performance. One profound reason should be risk Correct your spelling
instability
taking
nature of young Verb problem
risk-taking
people
and lack of real world
experience. Young Add a hyphen
real-world
people
have fresh
perspective, Add an article
a fresh
modern
way of decision making which leads them to think out of the box, Correct word choice
and modern
this
occasionally may benefit the organizations but may sometime
cause an arm and a leg. Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
For instance
, Elon Musk’s own statements couple
of times caused Tesla’s Change the article
a couple
stockmarket
share to face Correct your spelling
stock market
major
dip. Correct article usage
a major
Additionally
, achieving powerful
position at Add an article
a powerful
young
age can make them Add an article
a young
egostic
. Correct your spelling
egoistic
egotistic
Hence
, effecting
their decision-making ability.
Correct your spelling
affecting
On the other hand
, older people
have dealt with plethora
of ups and downs in their Add an article
a plethora
career
which Fix the agreement mistake
careers
boost
their situational awareness Change the verb form
boosts
results
in building quick and effective Correct word choice
and results
decision making
abilities. Older Add a hyphen
decision-making
people
had
already learnt and know the best way to handle a situation, whether taking a bold, Wrong verb form
have
straight forward
decision or Correct your spelling
straightforward
proceed
with Wrong verb form
proceeding
slow
and conservative approach. Add an article
a slow
the slow
For example
, it can be observed some of the most powerful organizations like Blackrock and Vanguard are being managed by relatively older people
. Moreover
, as
with Change preposition
apply
time
their knowledge Add a comma
time,
keep
developing, making them Change the verb form
keeps
for
suitable for higher positions within Change preposition
apply
organization
.
In a nutshell, older Add an article
the organization
an organization
people
are suitable for executive positions due to
their conservative approach toward organization
growth and Replace the word
organisational
extensive
Correct article usage
the extensive
real world
experience they bring with them Add a hyphen
real-world
on
the table.Change preposition
to
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Task Achievement
Ensure comparison points between younger and older leaders are clear and contrasting, highlighting the impact of their differences thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Expand on specific examples to demonstrate how older leaders' experience translates into organizational benefits, ensuring examples are deeply explored.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical progression of ideas by introducing more varied connectors and transitions. This aids the reader in following the argumentation more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Given the strong stance in favor of older leaders, including a brief acknowledgment of the strengths of younger leaders and how they might complement traditional leadership models could enrich the essay's depth.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a well-defined stance, maintaining a clear position throughout.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support arguments, such as Elon Musk and companies like Blackrock and Vanguard.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good overall structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, enhancing readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the essay's main points and stance, providing a cohesive frame for the argument.