Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #history #school #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

, school subjects are become more and more. To

people

, the point of view of school subjects is so different, some

people

focused

Wrong verb form

focus

show examples

History

some

Correct word choice

and some

show examples

are

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

Science

and

Technology

People

value different

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

a lot. In my opinion, the

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

Science

and

Technology

are more crucial to me. To some

people

History

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

standed

Correct your spelling

stands

for "Past".

History

is events mixed

exprerience

Correct your spelling

experience

in the past that let

people

know how to transform to

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

society and how to form a culture. It

also

can

trains

Change the verb form

train

show examples

people

's logic and predict

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world trends. I've read a book, the content

is talking

Wrong verb form

talks

show examples

about "

History

rythem

Correct your spelling

rhythm

" which means the same thing will repeat and repeat again.

For example

, some

people

read related-

document

Fix the agreement mistake

documents

show examples

to predict the

markert

Correct your spelling

market

trend of

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

. It depends on past

exprerience

Correct your spelling

experience

. On the one hand,

Science

and

Technology

are close to

"future"

Correct article usage

the "future"

show examples

, there are so many new

innovation

Change to a plural noun

innovations

show examples

technology

based on

science

now. It both can

trainning

Correct your spelling

training

people'

Change noun form

people's

show examples

creative ability for

innovantion

Correct your spelling

innovation

Also

, innovation of

technology

can

drives

Change the verb form

drive

show examples

many

investment

Change to a plural noun

investments

show examples

; In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other words, these subjects are

associate

Replace the word

associated

show examples

with business.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artificial

intellegent

Correct your spelling

intelligence

intelligent

(AI) is created by

technology

Add an article

the technology

show examples

industry.

People

can use AI to apply to

exsit

Correct your spelling

existing

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

such

robot

Fix the agreement mistake

robots

show examples

app

Fix the agreement mistake

apps

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

and so on. In conclusion,

History

and

Science

and

Technology

all are very important. I do believe

Science

and

Technology

can bring more

bentifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

people

because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can help

people

to make more

convience

Correct your spelling

convenience

life through innovation.

Submitted by choechenisme on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Structure

Consider spending a bit more time planning your essay to ensure that your ideas are clearly structured and flow logically from one paragraph to the next. This will help make your argument more persuasive.

Language

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammar structures to express your ideas. This will help demonstrate your language proficiency more effectively.

Accuracy

Make sure to proofread your work to catch any spelling or grammatical errors. Minor mistakes can distract from the content of your essay.

Content

To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging to read.

Balance

You've made an effort to introduce both sides of the argument, which is good practice for this type of essay.

Conclusion

You've successfully concluded your essay by restating your personal opinion, which helps to clearly communicate your stance to the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Historical perspective
Analytical skills
Contextual understanding
Technological advancements
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
Innovation
Interdisciplinary
Job market
Climate crisis
Cultural identity
Critical thinking
Humanities
Contemporary issues
Integration
Tech-savvy

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In spite of the many advances women have made in education and employment, yjey continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. in your view, what shoule be done to promote equality for men and women in the workplace?

Using computers for a long time may have a lot of negative effects on children so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortage and what could be done to alleviate this problem?

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?