big salary is more important than job satisfaction. do you agree or disagree?

In
this
cutting-edge era, there is one of the highly controversial
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
high income
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
much significance as compared to
job
satisfaction
. I disagree with the given notion and the supporting points will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, becoming
more rich
Replace the words
richer
show examples
could be the first reason for giving much importance to big
slalary
Correct your spelling
salary
. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
people
having low
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
could not
be fulfilled
Wrong verb form
fulfil
show examples
their family's needs and dreams
such
as good educational institutions, healthy
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
, recreational
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
and other basic needs.
Apart from
this
, high wages are becoming a necessity for achieving name and fame in own locality. To clarify
this
,
people
think that if they have an expensive car, a two-storey building for living, luxuries and branded clothes
then
they can earn good fame in their society easily. To illustrate
this
, a survey
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
conducted
last
year which depicts 80%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
jobs with high earnings
instead
of looking
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of those jobs.
However
,
job
satisfaction
cannot be underestimated. When
people
do fulfilling
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
then
not only makes the workday more enjoyable, but
also
they tend to be more committed to their jobs,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
creative ; has
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to
overall
progress of their career advancement and success in the long run.
In addition
to
this
, it could be seen that a
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
job
also
contributes to an individual's mental and social
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.
For example
,
people
love what they are doing and share their
fellings
Correct your spelling
feelings
show examples
of happiness and sadness
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
other colleagues which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to maintain
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
work-life.
To conclude
, It has been said that
although
there are
multifariuos
Correct your spelling
multifarious
beneficial points of doing with high income like financial security and a
well renowed
Add a hyphen
well-renowed
show examples
life,
job
satisfaction
plays a pivotal role in
overall
happiness and productivity.
Submitted by deepnimrat553 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Clarity & Simplicity
Ensure your essay clarity by simplifying complex phrases and avoiding small inaccuracies, especially in grammar and word choice.
Linking Words
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly throughout your essay.
Examples & Evidence
To enhance task achievement, integrate more detailed examples from reliable sources or hypothetical scenarios to strongly support your arguments.
Topic Relevance
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear position throughout.
Balanced Discussion
You have provided a balanced discussion with appropriate examples to support your points.
Essay Structure
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, enhances its readability and coherence.
Language Variety
You have a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures which enriches your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: