IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
The given charts depict numerous
langueges
Correct your spelling
languages
 known by learners of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
in addition
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
English between 2000 to 2010.
Overall
 , as can be seen from the Chart that, after a decade, Spanish was the one
lanangage
Correct your spelling
language
 which had the highest followers as compared to
Other
Change the wording
another language
Other languages
show examples
language
. In 2000, the ability
of speaking
Replace the preposition
to speak
show examples
German
Change the article
the German
show examples
language
as well as
 two different languages had the lowest Proportion by 10%. The same case
was happen
Change the verb form
happened
show examples
 with French only and another
language
 but there was a slight
increused
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
 and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
15
Correct article usage
a 15
show examples
% of
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
.
However
,
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to speak Spanish was the highest followed by no other
language
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30% and 20% . In 2010,
according to
Chart
Correct article usage
the Chart
show examples
, the Proportion of Spanish
Speaker Swelled
Correct your spelling
speakers swelled
show examples
 significantly and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35%. No Other
language
 French only Showed
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 and dropped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10%, which was similar to German.
However
, another
language
as well as
 two other languages rose by 20% and 15%.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: