IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With a fast pace of modern life , more and more people are turning towards fast food for theirs main meals . Do you hinh the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in
Correct article usage
the availibility
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availibility
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availability
 of fast
food
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. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the
overall
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 effect of
this
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 kind of
food
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 has been positive
and
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or
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 negative. Some laud its
convienence
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convenience
 and relatively low cost,
however
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, in
this
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 essay
i
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I
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 intend to argue that fast
food
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 is detrimental both to the individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 consume it and to society at large.  First of all, it is an undeniable fact that consuming fast
food
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 to excess results in serious health problems. Nourisments
such
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 as fried chicken,
hamburger
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hamburgers
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 and chips which are incredibly high in fat and salt are responsible for
such
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 ailments as high blood pressure, obesity and heart disease.
Moreover
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,
although
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i
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I
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 certainly agree that fast
food
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 is both affordable and convenient, the cost and inconvenience of treating the illnesses it causes in later life are significant.
In other words
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,
while
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 convenient
food
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 is beneficial in the
short-term
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short term
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, its long-term effects are generally negative.
Further
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 and even more importantly, though, some fast
food
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 chains deliberately attempt to attract children in order to shape their future eating habits. One
particular
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particularly
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 salient example of
this
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 is the character of Ronald Mcdonald the bright clothes and big smile of the Mcdonalds clown are a beacon to children. Having grown up eating in
Mcdonalds
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Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
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 restaurants, people are likely to continue eating there throughout their adult lives. It is
also
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 interesting to note that
Mcdonalds
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McDonald
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 provides playgrounds and frequently holds kids' birthday parties in order to attract young children and their parents. By way of conclusion,
i
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I
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 believe that fast
food
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 will continue to become more popular as the pace of modern life increases. Given the health risks associated with
this
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 trend,
i
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I
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 believe that public education campaigns warning people about the dangers of convenient
food
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 would be warranted.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay introduction clearer presents your argument and directly addresses the question.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Double-check for minor spelling and grammatical errors to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points, especially the discussion of fast food marketing strategies targeting children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear logical structure, smoothly transitioning from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and suggests a reasonable measure to address the issue, showing a thorough understanding of the essay topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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