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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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The given pie charts picture information about the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
food
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 in the
world
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 in 2008. Compared to two countries
china
Capitalize word
China
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 and
India
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. As
resealed
Correct your spelling
revealed
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 by
consumption
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 of animals
food
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 was substantially worldwide 27 and in
India
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 26. The percentage of the average
consumption
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 of vegetables and fruits was 32% in China.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these raw materials only contribute 23% of Indians and 29 % of the
world
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’s. People in the
world
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Use synonyms
consumption
Replace the word
consumed
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 41% consumed
food
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 in 2008 years,
this
Linking Words
food
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 was much
popular
Correct quantifier usage
more popular
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Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
India
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 used 39%. Processed
food
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whereas
Linking Words
Chinese
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 people ate 5% less than
India
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. is worth noticing that
Indian
Fix the agreement mistake
Indians
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 ate more animal foods than
Use synonyms
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
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 did
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
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 devoured more vegetables, fruits and seeds than
Indians
Correct article usage
the Indians
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. On
an
Correct article usage
apply
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average,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 population consumed more animal foods and
seeds
Fix the agreement mistake
seed
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 items than the
world
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 population
while
Linking Words
Chinese
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 people ate more
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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 and seeds than the rest of the
world
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, food, world, india, chinese with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • average consumption
  • worldwide
  • data
  • comparison
  • differences
  • similarities
  • food items
  • categories
  • percentage
  • proportion
  • majority
  • minority
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