IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#water #usage #san #diego #california #rest #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart
compare
Change the verb form
compares
show examples
 the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 usage in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 and
California
Use synonyms
 with the
rest
Use synonyms
 of the
world
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 County and
California
Use synonyms
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 for residential
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
, it
reverse
Change the verb form
reverses
show examples
 with the
rest
Use synonyms
 of the
world
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural purposes.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used in industry sectors
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 23% and 33% for
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 and
California
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 used in industry for the
rest
Use synonyms
 of the
world
Use synonyms
 was 23%.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 used of
water
Use synonyms
 in agricultural sectors
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 dominated by the
rest
Use synonyms
 of the
world
Use synonyms
 which is 60%, followed by
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 and
California
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
which had
show examples
 17% and 28%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, for residential
purposes
Add a comma
purposes,
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 was 60% for
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 followed by
California
Use synonyms
 in second with 39% and the
rest
Use synonyms
 of the
wolrd
Correct your spelling
world
 was only 8%.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california, rest, world, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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