IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter * describe the problem you had with the tickets * say why you were unhappy with the staff * suggest what action the train company should take

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter regarding the unpleasant experience I had at the Ottawa train station.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the issue I had was that I purchased my train tickets one week prior to my journey.
However
Linking Words
, once I got to the station, the guard told me my ticket was invalid for the route I was intending to go and he said could not let me embark. What I really disliked about the employees' behaviour at the station was that everyone I asked for help said they could do nothing about my situation.
In addition
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, one of them was rude to me and even blamed me for what was happening. What I would advise the train company to do is refund me the full amount I paid for the tickets.
Moreover
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, another suggestion would be to give customer service training to all the staff, so they can learn how to properly address travellers and solve their problems. I appreciate your concern regarding
this
Linking Words
 matter and I look forward to receiving your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Amanda Lago

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task achievement
Your letter succinctly describes the issue, your feelings towards the staff's behavior, and provides clear suggestions for the company. Consider expanding on how the inconveniences affected you personally to deepen the response.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are well organized around single ideas, enhancing the letter's clarity. To further improve, you might consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect your ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively used a formal tone throughout the letter, suitable for writing to a company.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well formulated, creating a clear opening and a courteous closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disappointed
  • inconvenience
  • frustrated
  • incompetent
  • unhelpful
  • inconsiderate
  • ruined
  • compensation
  • refund
  • apology
  • reimbursement
  • improvement
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