In writing task describe the data in the two figures below that relate to banks in the UK. Write two or three paragraphs describing the information included in the two figures.
The bar graphs illustrate the data on the opening and closing of the four biggest banks' branches in the UK. In general, Figure A shows the total number of offices that were opened in 2014. Figure
B
, on the contrary
, demonstrates how many of them were closed in 2013. In general, relying on histograms, we can understand, that some banks are more successful in both years, at that time when the others are nearly ruined.
The highest level of closing departments was registered in Bank
B
, showing a record number of bank
branches going out of business. Bank
D, a counterweight, was blooming all period because no one of its offices was closed. Regarding the others, their position in the business was not as good as Bank
B
's. On the other hand
, it was not tragic, too. In general, we can say that the market situation in 2013-2014 developed as usual. In the end, Bank
B
managed to improve the situation.Submitted by lioness1970 on
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Introduction
Consider adding an introductory sentence that clearly states what the graphs represent and outline the main trend or findings before diving into specifics. It sets a clearer context for the reader.
Conclusion
Adding a conclusion that summarizes the main trends or contrasts presented in the data will provide a strong finish to your writing. It reinforces the overall analysis.
Clarity
Make sure to clearly distinguish between the data for 2013 and 2014 within your description, which will help in avoiding confusion and makes your argument more coherent.
Detail
Incorporate more detailed comparisons and contrasts between the banks' performances across the years. Use more specific data from the graphs to support your analysis, which adds depth to your description.
Flow
Ensure that your sentences flow logically from one to the next. Transition words and phrases like 'however, in contrast, similarly' can help improve the flow of your paragraphs.
Analysis
You have effectively identified the overall trend between the banks' performances in 2013 and 2014, which is a good starting point for analysis.
Identifying Trends
You demonstrated an ability to identify key trends and to distinguish between different performances of banks, which is critical for task response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite